When the Going Gets Grueling

No one struggles to get through the good times or looks for strategies to cope with them. But the tough or unpleasant times are different. The attitudes or strategies we use when things are going great don’t necessarily work—or work the same—when things are not so great. What does it actually take to get through those difficult days or weeks or months?

I’m someone who is 100% responsible for every single aspect and task in my life, as are many other people. I’m also someone who operates a business on my own and is 100% responsible for every single aspect and task of the business, as are more and more other people these days. The number of things to do and things to keep track of when you’re 100% responsible for everything doesn’t just feel overwhelming at times, it is overwhelming. All the time. I sometimes wonder if people like me—and there are many of us—have some kind of a glutton-for-punishment gene.

While many of the things I do are stimulating and satisfying, there are plenty of other things that are some combination of boring, difficult, and exhausting. I’m sure this is true for everyone, whether or not you’re running a business solo or living your life that way.

While I don’t always think I get through the difficult times as well as I could, I generally do get through them. Recently, I finished 10+ days focused entirely on organizing course materials and office systems (well, that and all the things I need to do to keep the rest of my life running). I desperately want a clutter-free office, but I also desperately dislike putting time and attention into this kind of stuff. I realize this isn’t equivalent to putting in hard labor, but still, dislike is putting it mildly.

It had to be done, though. Investing the time and energy now in something I don’t like doing will make it possible for me to spend more time down the road doing what I do like doing. But it was pretty grueling. I forced myself to find a place for every single piece of paper or index card or else toss it out. I updated and printed copies of all the course materials that have been finalized. I made sure the systems I set up worked, and if they didn’t, I tweaked them until they did.

In order to hunker down and finish this project, I gave up going to the gym for a week. I didn’t do any writing of any kind or any research. All of my conscious (System 2) attention went to dealing with these organizational details; nothing was left over for anything else. And, of course, none of the many other things on my to-do list, all of which are equally important, got done. By the end of each day, I was stiff, tired, and out of sorts.

But I saw the project through to the end. It was well worth the diversion of time and effort, the sacrifice of small pleasures, and the multiple calluses on my mouse hand. There’s no way I could have accomplished this by doing a little bit here and there. Once I freed up a few brain cells, I started thinking about the question in the first paragraph: what attributes or characteristics make it easier to stick with something unpleasant or difficult long enough to achieve a degree of success.

This is what I came up with:

• Fortitude (Don’t Leave Home Without It)
• Focus (Keep Your Eyes on the Prize)
• Patience (Learn to Play the Waiting Game)
• Embrace Uncertainty
• Know When to Get Assistance
• Reduce the Clutter in Your Life

I think anyone—no matter what their individual circumstances—would benefit from having or developing these attributes. So I’ll be writing a post on each one—including how our brain can help or hinder us—on consecutive Mondays beginning next week.

As I said, my organizational stint doesn’t qualify as hard labor. It was sort of like putting myself in the penalty box for a period and having to sit out a portion of the game.

What kind of work or tasks do you have that (when you’re doing them) make you feel like you’re in the penalty box for a period?