You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. –Carl Jung
The future is filled with a profusion of things to be done, or at least things we say are going to be done, even if we only say it to ourselves. They are listed on our calendars and to-do lists, jotted down on random scraps of papers as reminders, declared as New Year’s resolutions, itemized as goals to be achieved, and enumerated on “bucket” or wish lists.
Some of these are things we have to do. Some are things we think we should do. Some are things we aspire or hope to do. And some are things we want to do. So that’s at least four categories of things to be done. And those categories can be broken down further.
- Of the things we have to do, some are easy and automatic, some are annoying and difficult, some can be put off for a short time, some require drop-everything-else attention, and some have unpleasant consequences attached to their not getting done.
- Of the things we think we should do, some are bad habits we want to change, some are good habits we want to take up, some are admonitions from our Inner Critic, and some stem from our own or other people’s expectations.
- Of the things we aspire or hope to do, some reflect our highest and best intentions, some are things we’ve previously attempted and failed at, some are challenging but exciting, and some seem always to be the bridesmaid, but never the bride.
- Of the things we want to do, some can be easily satisfied (instant gratification), some require a little or a lot of planning, some are like itches that have to be scratched, and some are pie-in-the-sky dreams we don’t really expect will be realized.
These are just some of the categories, and the list is by no means exhaustive. I’d suggest you stop right now and write down everything you have to, should, aspire to, and want to do, but you probably already have too much to do. I know I do.
Things to be done can be a vicious taskmaster ruling our every waking hour and ready with the lash should we fall a few steps back. Once in thrall to things to be done, we tend to forget we played a role in creating the beast in the first place.
If it’s true–to any extent–that we are what we do, a good question to stop and ask from time to time is, “What am I doing?”
Deborah says
A lot of power and possibility contained in this post. That exercise you suggest about listing everything you have to do is something I did for self-preservation not too long ago. It was frightening how much was on that list. Working now to have less on it. You provide a great way to think about categorizing the types of things that call for our attention, and to think about why some of these things make our lists at all.