Why Archives - Farther to Go!

“I’m Telling You How Difficult a WHY Question Is.”

June 21, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

Here is Richard Feynman describing the difficulties we face when we ask why something is the way it is or why something happened the way it happened. One why? question begets the next and so it goes, on and on. Where do you stop? When are you satisfied with the answer? Is it entirely arbitrary?

You have to know what it is that you’re permitted to understand and allow to be understood and known, and what it is you’re not.

In other words, what can be taken for granted in this process of asking why–and what can’t. The answer to that question could completely alter the answer to the original question. This isn’t trivial. It’s a can of metaphorical, interpretive, linguistic, and existential worms, if you ask me. But as a parlor game, it could be quite a bit of fun!

Inside Week 3 of What Do You Want?

May 22, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

This is the third guest post by Jean S., who is sharing her experience of participating the 6-week What Do You Want? course. She previously wrote about week 1 and week 2.

What I Really Want Is… (working with the cards)

In order to keep up with the pace we need in order to take the steps Joycelyn has designed for this process of getting to the heart of the matter in 6 weeks, I find I have to schedule in the writing time each day, or it gets shoved aside more often than not. After all, it’s a course, and I’m not really taking the course if I don’t do the homework. What a coincidence—being able to write every day is one of my prime desires. How sweet!

Inside Week 2 of What Do You Want?

May 15, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 1 Comment

This is the second guest post by Jean S., who is sharing her experience of participating the 6-week What Do You Want? course. She wrote about week 1 last week.

Inside Week 2 of What Do YOU Want?

Continually look backward asking why?—as we so often do—is sort of like picking at a scab. Does it really help us to heal? Can it take us anywhere new if it’s just a “tired rehashing of the fragmented, misremembered past?” Asking why? forward instead of backward can be much more fruitful.

The handouts for week 2 of the What Do You Want? course were on looking forward vs. looking backward, which shed more light on the way our brains work. Can we get new experiences in life if we so often ask why? about the past? What matters more: exploring a past we can’t change or exploring what we want for the future so we can get clearer on the changes we can effect.

We think maybe it will help us put the past to rest if we make up “answers” to our why? questions about it. That’s all we can do about it, after all. On the other hand, we can be energized by looking at and probing for what we want to have ahead of us. There is a forward thrust toward truth when we ask why? forward.

Think of a 4-year-old child’s drive to ask why? Children at this time discover the power and vastness of that word why. Sometimes we may suspect that they persist with their why? questions just to annoy us. Yet, really, it’s all new to them. Maybe the only intelligent thing for them to do in their “new to the planet” situation is to keep asking why?

WE are in a “new to the future” situation. It is a vantage point for discovering what we really want our future to look like by asking of each answer we give—or is it get?—why?! If we probe for an answer to each why? that will allow us to deepen our understanding of ourselves and what DOES really matter most to us.

As Joycelyn says, “If you keep asking why? forward, you’ll eventually get to the ultimate answer…to the heart of what’s at stake.” One thing that is clear to me is that I have not yet asked why? enough times. If I find it intimidating to start, once I begin, I find it surprisingly interesting and exhilarating to do. Try it! It’s great for getting to clarity.

The Forward “Why?”

March 31, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 4 Comments

why-is-the-new-because — (Photo credit: screenpunk)

After years, probably decades, of dismissing why? questions as irrelevant and pointless—especially in regard to human behavior—I’ve finally found a use for them!

The problem with why? questions is that we almost always ask them in the wrong direction. We ask them backward instead of forward.

We ask why something that happened happened the way it did. We ask why people are the way they are or behave the way they behave. We ask why we are the way we are. We’re looking for explanations, rationales, reasons, or maybe even excuses. But those questions can’t really be answered, at least not with any degree of certainty. We simply don’t have, and never will have, all the information. We don’t even have all the information about what’s going on right this second, let alone anything that happened in the past.

The other problem with asking why? about what already happened is that it involves spending a lot of time looking backward. Our heads get stuck in the past searching back there for answers to questions about our present or even our future. All we can expect to come up with is a facsimile of an answer and not even a reasonable one.

Asking “Why?” forward instead of backward, however, is actually useful. More than that, it can be revelatory.

Is there something you want to do or someplace you want to go? Why?
Is there a decision you’re trying to make? Why are you considering it?
Is there a goal you’re working toward? Why?
Is there a habit you’re trying to start? Why?
Is there a change you’re thinking about making? Why?
Is there something you want to get or have? Why?

The list goes on.

Don’t stop with asking why? just once. If you keep asking why? repeatedly, you’ll eventually get to the last answer. Then you’ll know something you may not have known before. You’ll get closer to the heart of what’s at stake. You’ll be in a better position to decide what to do.

The backward why? is just a habit of thought. It can’t take us anywhere new. It has no surprises. The forward why? is where all the action is. It can dissolve limits and barriers. It can open up our world.

Not Dead Yet

February 24, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

Most of us, at one time or another (or maybe even incessantly), want to know why we are the way we are. Why do we do the things we do, think the way we think, and feel the things we feel. But wanting to know doesn’t mean we can know. And trying to come up with answers is a seductive but futile pursuit.

The unconscious brain, which drives this deep desire to know, is a pattern-detector and connection-maker. Sometimes the patterns it sees and the connections it makes are useful, such as in scientific or creative pursuits (or even in helping us remember where we put something). But the unconscious brain just as often sees patterns and makes connections where none exist. It’s notorious for jumping to conclusions.

The conscious part of the brain gets to accept or reject the connection offered up by the unconscious. If the conscious part of the brain (what we think of as “I”) accepts it, our brain turns that potential connection into a real one and sort of cements it into place. Now we have an explanation. Now we know that this caused that: some event, situation, or experience that happened in the past is the reason why we do, think, or feel some particular thing today.

Chances are considerably better than average that we’re wrong. There are far too many factors that have gone into making us who we are, the majority of which we aren’t even aware of. But even if we somehow did manage to figure it out correctly, so what?

There’s not much power in reasons or explanations. In fact the more reasons we come up with to explain why we are the way we are today, the less power we have. The more we insist on being nothing more than the effect of hundreds of thousands of causes, the less freedom we have to be, do, think, or feel anything different.

It’s as if we’re trying to replace our actual fluid and dynamic selves with stone replicas of ourselves. Instead of being here now, fully present, we’re busy trying to explain how we got here. Instead of trying to live, we’re trying to not-live. All of us will be cold and hard as stone soon enough. Let’s not hasten the embalming process while we’re still breathing.

What I Really Want Is… (working with the cards)

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