We all do it. It seems only reasonable. And because of the consistent and predictable result it gets us, we even feel vindicated afterward for doing it.
What is it? It’s not making a full commitment to something: a goal, a project, a habit, a relationship. The fact is we can refuse to make a full commitment to just about anyone or anything. We don’t know how things are going to turn out, so we try to hedge our bets. We hold back—sometimes just a little, but other times quite a lot.
We have various reasons for holding back. Whatever we want is too big. We don’t know exactly how to do it or achieve it. We’ve never done anything like that before. We don’t want to look foolish if we fail. Most of the reasons amount to the same thing: we’re unable to accurately predict the future and be certain of the outcome.
Given what we don’t know about how things will turn out, not making a full commitment seems to be a reasonable, rational stance. But not making a full commitment is actually one of the factors that affect outcomes. It isn’t the only factor, and it may not turn out to be the most significant one, but it’s one factor that is entirely within our control.
Making a 100% commitment to something doesn’t guarantee we’ll succeed. There are no guarantees. But being fully committed definitely gives us an advantage we don’t have when we’re holding back. When we’re fully committed we approach things differently, we see more possibilities and opportunities, stick with things longer, are willing to put in more time and effort, and can be surprisingly creative and innovative.
If we fully commit to something and don’t quite get there, at least we know we went for it. We did as much as we could. We’ll find out a little more about what we’re made of. How much this thing we’re after means to us. How hard we’re willing to work to get it. How high we can really reach. And even if we don’t make it all the way, we won’t be saddled with regret over not having tried.
When we don’t fully commit and don’t quite get there, we’ll never know what we could have done if we had gone for it.