We all do it. It seems only reasonable. And because of the consistent and predictable result it gets us, we even feel vindicated afterward for doing it.
What is it? It’s not making a full commitment to something: a goal, a project, a habit, a relationship. The fact is we can refuse to make a full commitment to just about anyone or anything. We don’t know how things are going to turn out, so we try to hedge our bets. We hold back—sometimes just a little, but other times quite a lot.
We have various reasons for holding back. Whatever we want is too big. We don’t know exactly how to do it or achieve it. We’ve never done anything like that before. We don’t want to look foolish if we fail. Most of the reasons amount to the same thing: we’re unable to accurately predict the future and be certain of the outcome.
Given what we don’t know about how things will turn out, not making a full commitment seems to be a reasonable, rational stance. But not making a full commitment is actually one of the factors that affect outcomes. It isn’t the only factor, and it may not turn out to be the most significant one, but it’s one factor that is entirely within our control.
Making a 100% commitment to something doesn’t guarantee we’ll succeed. There are no guarantees. But being fully committed definitely gives us an advantage we don’t have when we’re holding back. When we’re fully committed we approach things differently, we see more possibilities and opportunities, stick with things longer, are willing to put in more time and effort, and can be surprisingly creative and innovative.
If we fully commit to something and don’t quite get there, at least we know we went for it. We did as much as we could. We’ll find out a little more about what we’re made of. How much this thing we’re after means to us. How hard we’re willing to work to get it. How high we can really reach. And even if we don’t make it all the way, we won’t be saddled with regret over not having tried.
When we don’t fully commit and don’t quite get there, we’ll never know what we could have done if we had gone for it.
Joycelyn, as I am beginning a new writing project, as well as launching a new blog, commitment (and intention) are areas that I am realizing are very important. As I begin my blog and work with people locally, I am learning how crucial – and difficult it is to get people to commit. Not making a commitment the main reason most people I have met don’t stick with writing.
Now if I can only learn to get people to commit to their writing 🙂
Don, I was just talking about this very thing with a group recently. It seems that the two biggest elements in following through are (1) really knowing WHY you (or they) want to do something (in this case writing)–i.e., what does it get you; (2) making that full commitment to doing it, which includes having the intention.
People may think they know why they want to do something, but most of us aren’t in the habit of really exploring the WHY. I’ve noticed that once the WHY is pinned down, the commitment is easier to make. Plus exploring the WHY is a good writing exercise. 🙂