I’m on a quest. I think I’ve been on this quest since I was in elementary school. But one of my so-called flashbulb memories nails it to the September 1963 bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham.
I recall lying on the floor in the living room reading Life or Look magazine, stunned by the images of the church and the four girls who were killed in the blast. An article about one of them, Denise McNair, that ran in Look the following year asked, “What kind of mind could have planted the bomb that killed four children in Birmingham?”
I was asking the same question.
Why does anyone do anything, think anything, feel anything, or say anything? And why, given the vast range of things to do or think or feel or speak, do some people choose to commit the worst possible acts? In other words, unapologetically, what the fuck is wrong with people? (Full disclosure, I was blamed for teaching my two younger brothers to curse.)
I didn’t get it. I was, at best, bemused by the antics and foibles of humans but more often bothered and bewildered. I’ve recently been reading and rereading the works of Saul Bellow, a staple on my bookshelf in the 60s and 70s. I see some of my concerns reflected in his writing and I now understand the appeal.
I absolutely agree with Hegel (lectures at Jena, 1806) that the whole mass of ideas that have been current until now, “the very bonds of the world,” are dissolving and collapsing like a vision in a dream. A new emergence of Spirit is—or had better be—at hand. —Saul Bellow, Cousins
It wasn’t until a few years ago that I recognized the nature of this quest and saw how it has driven much of my life, whether or not I was consciously aware of it. This is what I’ve been—and still am—up to:
I want to know what’s so so I can ask what if? and then run the experiments to see how we can up our game.
It’s been a long, strange trip. I read Carl Jung in the seventh or eighth grade and went on to formal and informal study of psychology (including social and biological psychology), philosophy, spirituality, and now neuroscience. I’ve explored personality theories such as the MBTI and the Enneagram (becoming a certified Enneagram instructor in the mid-90s) and developing the concept of Personal Operating Systems. I also spent eight years as a substance abuse counselor.
Neuroscience has proven the most fruitful direction for pursuit of this quest:
The first thing we learn from studying our own circuitry is a simple lesson: most of what we do and think and feel is not under our conscious control….Our brains run mostly on autopilot, and the conscious mind has little access to the giant and mysterious factory that runs below it. —David Eagleman, Incognito
That’s what’s so. Farther to Go! is the ongoing process of asking what if? and running the experiments to see how we (all of us) can up our game. It’s a matter of life or death.
Your knowledge and coaching skills equal the best I have experienced in the social/lifestyles arena. Your sharing of your life experiences aids the learning process and enhances your credibility. —J.G.
Enjoyed your personal examples, Joycelyn, and your commitment to riding along on our journey. —M.Z.
I’m very impressed with the process and sequence of activities you have developed along with your entire delivery style. —J.L.