…NOT on What You Don’t Want
Urgency arises naturally from the creative tension you experience between where you are now and where you want to be.
In order to experience creative tension rather than psychological tension, you need to have a clearly defined and juicy desired outcome. And you also need to be clear about where you are now in relation to that desired outcome.
The sense of urgency you feel during creative tension pulls you toward the object, situation, or outcome you desire. It sharpens your attention and your focus so that you actually see things differently and see different things.
When you discover an unexpected route to moving closer to what you want, you’re able to recognize it and adjust your course accordingly. This kind of urgency is energizing and motivating. And it often leads to flights of ingenuity and improvisation you didn’t know you were capable of.
While you’re more likely to identify actual and potential obstacles in the way of getting to your desired outcome, you’re also more likely to deal with those obstacles efficiently and effectively.
That’s the enormous difference between being focused on what you want vs. being focused on your discomfort or dissatisfaction.
When you’re focused on discomfort or dissatisfaction with your current situation, your actions are directed toward obtaining relief. So as soon as your discomfort decreases, you stop taking action. Eventually the psychological tension begins building again, and when it gets uncomfortable enough, you will be driven to take action to relieve it. This is a vicious cycle that works incredibly well to keep you working hard to stay stuck in place.
Being driven by attempts to avoid some type of discomfort, including the possibility of negative consequences, isn’t very powerful. Yet it’s the basis for countless attempts at behavior change. For example:
- If you get fed up with not being able to find things on or in your desk, you may try a new organizational system. But once you’ve put it in place and you’re able to find things for a while, you have no real motivation to keep the system up. So eventually your desk or your files revert to their previous condition.
. - If you gained some weight and can’t fit into last summer’s clothes, you may adjust your diet to consume fewer calories or less of some foods. But once you’ve lost enough weight to get into those shorts or that bathing suit, your discomfort will lessen enough that you revert to your previous eating habits. Predictably, you will regain some or all (or more) of the weight and the discomfort will drive you to take action to relieve it.
. - Maybe cigarettes are impacting your ability to breathe. You notice you’re huffing and puffing climbing short flights of stairs or walking brief distances. So you decide to cut back, possibly with the intention of quitting altogether. But after you’ve decreased the number of cigarettes you smoke during the day, you’re not having as much difficulty getting around, so you gradually start smoking more and eventually you start huffing and puffing all over again.
This is a reactive response to unpleasant feelings or situations, as opposed to a proactive response. It’s ineffective at resolving the problem, and it’s no fun at all. But that isn’t the worst part. The worst part is that it actually trains your brain to focus on relieving the pressure you feel rather than on going after something you really want, which is why it serves to maintain the status quo instead of changing it.
Ultimately it’s demoralizing. You and your brain view your numerous attempts to resolve the same problem as evidence that there’s something wrong with you.
Instead of dwelling on what you don’t want, ask yourself what you do want. Identifying what you want and developing a sense of urgency about getting it can be surprisingly effective at motivating all kinds of change. And it’s a lot more enjoyable than reacting to the discomfort of what you don’t want.