Purpose Archives - Page 3 of 7

Focus: Keep Your Eyes on the Prize

May 5, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

A distraction is something that keeps us from giving 100% of our attention to what we’re doing or attempting to do right now. By diverting our attention, it dims our focus. Being distracted isn’t the same as choosing to take a break. Allowing ourselves to be distracted is rarely a conscious choice.

The path to anywhere is booby-trapped with an unrelenting blitzkrieg of tempting distractions so magnificent and horrible—and insistent—they may even invade our dreams.

These distractions tempt us because they include:

things we’re naturally interested in
things we’re convinced we need to know (every single thing there is to know) about
things we have to be on top of or take care of
things we suddenly remember we forgot to do
things that are simply so compelling we can’t not be distracted by them
things that take our minds off whatever we’re doing that we don’t want to be doing
things that seem better (more interesting, easier, or maybe just newer) than whatever we’re doing now

The internet is a major—and obvious—source of distraction, but it’s a piker compared to the source of distraction inside our own heads.

Attention is notoriously difficult to keep focused. One reason is that conscious attention requires, well, consciousness, and conscious (System 2) attention is a limited resource that can’t be easily or quickly renewed. It definitely can’t be renewed on command. If we squander it early in the day, we may not have enough left for another task that requires it later on. And squander it we do, on all kinds of things that are not worth actually thinking about.

When it comes to maintaining focus on a long-term goal—keeping our eyes on a distant prize—we often trip ourselves up at the outset by not accounting for the inevitable flagging of conscious attention. All evidence to the contrary, we’re convinced we will maintain the same level of enthusiasm and focus through the entire extent of a project that we had at the beginning of it. We count on our interest and enthusiasm to carry us through. It can’t and it won’t.

The sane thing to do, then, would be to assume that our interest, enthusiasm, and attention are going to flag and to create a plan that doesn’t rely solely on will power, self-discipline, enthusiasm, interest, or anything else that comes and goes.

If you want to use your brain to help maintain your focus, one thing you can do is set up checkpoints along the path to monitor your progress and to reward yourself for your achievements. The hits of dopamine your brain releases when you reward yourself will not only make you feel good, they will also activate emotional and learning circuits to increase the likelihood you will remember what you did and will want to do it again. As you get closer to reaching your goal, your brain will actually increase the amount of dopamine it releases each time you pass another checkpoint.

Achieving a distant goal—which could mean two months, two years, or two decades from now—requires detailed planning in order to get your brain to get with the program. Imagining the outcome—so you know what you’re aiming for—is important. But if you don’t identify all the steps it will take to get to the finish line and claim the prize, your brain will not be on board. Your brain, in fact, will be looking to board any passing train it catches sight of, and it will be taking you right along with it.

[NOTE: This post is the third in a series. See also When the Going Gets Grueling and Fortitude: Don’t Leave Home Without It.]

Fortitude: Don’t Leave Home Without It

April 28, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 4 Comments

Fortitude is the mental toughness that keeps you going when the going gets tough. Fortitude helps you deal with adversity, overcome obstacles, and keep on keeping on instead of giving up. If you’re going to take on any kind of a challenge, you’ll need a heavy dose of fortitude.

Fortitude is kind of an old-fashioned concept and isn’t too popular in a lot of circles. Acknowledging the need for it implies that you’re likely to face difficulties, that things won’t always—or ever—go smoothly or quickly or the way you want them to. Further, it implies there’s value in being able to overcome and learn from the problems that beset you rather than, say, caving in, blaming others (or bad luck), or throwing a temper tantrum.

There’s an interesting correlation between fortitude, expectations, and success. The people who have succeeded in accomplishing what they set out to do generally expected to succeed. But they also expected it wouldn’t be easy. People who expect success to come easily aren’t prepared for the difficulties and even setbacks they encounter. They tend to quit and to blame the circumstances instead of recognizing their own lack of fortitude. It just wasn’t in the cards.

Unpacking this single word exposes all kinds of great qualities, including:

Strength
Courage
Endurance
Determination
Resilience
Perseverance

Fortitude isn’t showy. It’s an inner strength that rests on a belief in yourself and in what you’re doing. It doesn’t mean you don’t have doubts; it just means you don’t give in to them. It doesn’t mean you don’t get tired or temporarily discouraged; it just means you take a break and then get back to work. It doesn’t mean you don’t feel like quitting; it just means you stay the course instead.

Whether or not System 1 (your unconscious) will help you or hinder you in situations requiring fortitude depends on whether it sees what you’re doing as a mater of survival or as a threat to your survival. But System 1 isn’t really the place to look for mental strength or toughness. You have to use System 2 (the conscious part of your brain) to override fatigue, fear, uncertainty, temporary defeat, setbacks, and obstacles. If you’re clear about what you want–and why you want it–you can use your brain to keep you on the path to achieving it.

I put fortitude at the top of my list because without it, you’re hamstrung before you even begin.

When the Going Gets Grueling

April 21, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 2 Comments

Better work flow: get organized — (Photo credit: Jodimichelle)

No one struggles to get through the good times or looks for strategies to cope with them. But the tough or unpleasant times are different. The attitudes or strategies we use when things are going great don’t necessarily work—or work the same—when things are not so great. What does it actually take to get through those difficult days or weeks or months?

I’m someone who is 100% responsible for every single aspect and task in my life, as are many other people. I’m also someone who operates a business on my own and is 100% responsible for every single aspect and task of the business, as are more and more other people these days. The number of things to do and things to keep track of when you’re 100% responsible for everything doesn’t just feel overwhelming at times, it is overwhelming. All the time. I sometimes wonder if people like me—and there are many of us—have some kind of a glutton-for-punishment gene.

While many of the things I do are stimulating and satisfying, there are plenty of other things that are some combination of boring, difficult, and exhausting. I’m sure this is true for everyone, whether or not you’re running a business solo or living your life that way.

While I don’t always think I get through the difficult times as well as I could, I generally do get through them. Recently, I finished 10+ days focused entirely on organizing course materials and office systems (well, that and all the things I need to do to keep the rest of my life running). I desperately want a clutter-free office, but I also desperately dislike putting time and attention into this kind of stuff. I realize this isn’t equivalent to putting in hard labor, but still, dislike is putting it mildly.

It had to be done, though. Investing the time and energy now in something I don’t like doing will make it possible for me to spend more time down the road doing what I do like doing. But it was pretty grueling. I forced myself to find a place for every single piece of paper or index card or else toss it out. I updated and printed copies of all the course materials that have been finalized. I made sure the systems I set up worked, and if they didn’t, I tweaked them until they did.

In order to hunker down and finish this project, I gave up going to the gym for a week. I didn’t do any writing of any kind or any research. All of my conscious (System 2) attention went to dealing with these organizational details; nothing was left over for anything else. And, of course, none of the many other things on my to-do list, all of which are equally important, got done. By the end of each day, I was stiff, tired, and out of sorts.

But I saw the project through to the end. It was well worth the diversion of time and effort, the sacrifice of small pleasures, and the multiple calluses on my mouse hand. There’s no way I could have accomplished this by doing a little bit here and there. Once I freed up a few brain cells, I started thinking about the question in the first paragraph: what attributes or characteristics make it easier to stick with something unpleasant or difficult long enough to achieve a degree of success.

This is what I came up with:

I think anyone—no matter what their individual circumstances—would benefit from having or developing these attributes. So I’ll be writing a post on each one—including how our brain can help or hinder us—on consecutive Mondays beginning next week.

As I said, my organizational stint doesn’t qualify as hard labor. It was sort of like putting myself in the penalty box for a period and having to sit out a portion of the game.

What kind of work or tasks do you have that (when you’re doing them) make you feel like you’re in the penalty box for a period?

The Fruits of a Lesser Discontent

April 17, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 1 Comment

I don’t mean to imply that all great ideas or outcomes—or at least all of my ideas or outcomes—arise from states of discontent. Some have been the result of a logical progression of thought or activity. Others have come from Aha! moments when my unconscious connected some previously unconnected or unrecognized dots.

But just as a moment of deep existential discontent started me on the path of creating Farther to Go!, a moment of lesser discontent led to the creation of the What Do You Want? course. And weather played a role that time, too.

One overcast and unusually cool early fall day, I rebelled against immersing myself in the tasks I needed to complete. Imagine me mentally stamping my foot and scowling. This isn’t a particularly common occurrence, but it’s definitely more likely to happen on gray days than on sunny ones. In this instance, I decided to make myself a cup of coffee to generate some motivation or at least a small burst of energy.

While I was waiting for the water to boil, I asked myself, out of the blue, what I wanted to do instead of all the boring and tedious stuff. What did I really want to do? If I could do anything. And then it happened! I found myself answering a different question instead, an easier one: What do I want to do that’s practical?

By then I was familiar with the brain’s tendency to substitute an easier question for a hard one and to answer the easier question. But I had never before been aware of it as it happened, and I was kind of stunned. Why couldn’t I answer the original question? What made it too hard to answer? I should know what I want, right?

Well, maybe. Later that day, I decided to try to find out. I set myself the task of asking and answering the question “What do I really want?” every day for 30 days. Not just once, but multiple times, using 5×8 index cards. I ended up with nearly 500 answers, including several surprises. Obviously I hadn’t known everything I wanted.

Afterward, I put the individual items into general categories. That was even more illuminating. But the final step was what made the process priceless. I realized that all the items on my list fit under the umbrella of one or more of what I came to call Big Picture Wants. As I wrote out the words and phrases—in my case 12—of my own Big Picture Wants I knew I was on to something huge. I had been able to identify everything I wanted to have in my life.

Now that I’ve done this, I can’t imagine not being clear about what those things are. How can I set goals, make decisions or choices, or work on habits and intentions without knowing how they fit into the bigger picture? How can anyone?

When discontent strikes, we can try to make it go away quickly, or we can use it as motivation to dig deeper and examine our assumptions. If I were given a choice between being discontent and being complacent, I’d choose being discontent every time.

The Gift of Existential Discontent

April 14, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 7 Comments

Spring in New Mexico brings longer, brighter days, but those days seem to be carried in on incessant, howling, nasty winds. Two years ago, I was out for a walk on one of those very windy spring days. It was so windy that each step I took was an effort, and effort seemed to accurately describe my entire existence at that point. Abruptly, I thought, If this is how it’s going to be, I’m not interested.

Unhappiness and dissatisfaction are associated with a release of cortisol by the brain. Cortisol makes us want to do something to change how we’re feeling. A low level of cortisol—indicating a low level of discontent—triggers us to do something we know will make us feel better. Immediately! Whether that response is eating something sweet, going for a run, or surfing the internet, it’s automatic. No conscious thought is involved.

Cortisol also makes us pay attention. But more than a little cortisol has to be released before we actually sit up and pay conscious attention to our discontent. Otherwise the stimulus-response of cortisol and self-soothing behavior just runs in the background—at least until we start to notice all the weight we’ve gained or the time we’ve lost.

The amount of existential discontent I experienced that day did not feel good at all. I definitely wanted to do something about it! But I knew there was no easy response or quick fix. I couldn’t just go home and lose myself in a good book or have a glass of wine or play with my cat and expect to forget about it.

If this is how it’s going to be, I’m not interested was the impulse—the inciting incident, you could say—that eventually launched Farther to Go! I didn’t just want to feel better; I wanted to be better. I had a variety of tools to work with, processes and techniques I’d used before, but I quickly recognized none would do the trick this time. So I began carving out a path, hacking through my own wilderness, to find a way to be better.

I was kind of excited about my discoveries (if you know me, feel free to laugh here) and shared them with anyone who would listen. After a few months I began getting together twice a month with several other women. The members of the group changed, and as a result of my ongoing explorations, so did our focus. It was a few months before I found my way to learning about how the brain works and the revelation that underlies Farther to Go!

Trying to understand and change behavior without taking the brain into account is like trying to bake a cake without understanding that baking involves chemical reactions.

Two years ago, I had a general idea of what cortisol was, and since I had been a substance abuse counselor, I knew a little about serotonin and dopamine. But I had no idea how fortunate I was on that windy spring day to experience enough existential discontent that the amount of cortisol my brain released made it impossible to ignore.

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