Purpose Archives - Farther to Go!

Good Stress vs. Bad Stress

October 16, 2018 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

Although stress is widely viewed as something to be avoided as much as possible, not all stress is harmful. Intermittent stress can motive you and focus your attention, improve your memory and mental and physical performance, and help you adapt. It can also nudge you to change your behavior for the better.

The “father of stress” himself, Hans Selye, said that the opposite of stress is death, so even he didn’t see all stress as bad.

Negative stress is referred to as distress in order to distinguish it from positive stress or eustress. Distress isn’t motivating, and it decreases performance instead of improving it. It can lead to anxiety, feelings of powerlessness, and even depression.

Situations that generate eustress:

feel exciting rather than anxiety-producing
seem to be within our coping abilities (we have a sense of agency or control)
tend to be short-term

Situations that generate distress:

feel unpleasant rather than exciting
seem to be outside our coping abilities (we don’t have a sense of agency or control)
can be either short- or long-term

Some situations, such as illness or the death of a close friend or family member, are likely to create some distress for nearly anyone. But not everyone reacts the same way to the same situations or events. That’s why stress scales that assign a value to potential stressors miss the mark.

Eustress = Excitement

In the 1980s I volunteered to take on a responsibility for a group I belonged to that, on the face of it, was an impossible task. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into initially, and I could have just walked away when I found out. Instead I saw it as a challenge and ended up doing the “impossible” for two full years. Most people I knew then thought I was crazy for subjecting myself to the pressure.

But I didn’t experience the pressure as distress; I experienced it as eustress. I spent many entire weekends, from Friday evening until after midnight on Sunday, doing the impossible and loved every minute of it. I always went back to my regular job on Monday morning extremely short of sleep but much more refreshed, energized, and ready to go than my co-workers who had relaxed all weekend.

Going back to “regular life” was one of the things that contributed to my experience of the weekend stress as positive: it was short-term. I didn’t live every day of my life like that. Another contributing fact was my belief—at least after the first instance—that I could succeed in producing the desired outcome. (So dopamine also played a role in pushing me to all those finish lines.)

Chronic or excessive stress can have harmful effects on the body, the brain, and interpersonal relationships. But not only do we respond differently to life events and situations than others might respond, we don’t always respond the same way every time. So we can’t just compile a list of things to avoid, and avoiding things isn’t the best life strategy, anyway.

Immunity Against Stress

It’s better to increase the ability to handle challenges than to hide out in the hope of never having to face them. Developing a reliable sense of personal agency—the feeling that you can take action to influence your well-being and the outcome of events—is one of the best defenses against distress. And you can’t develop a reliable sense of personal agency unless you are active and engaged in the world—intentionally and purposefully, that is.

In order to be intentional and purposeful, you have to know what you want. When you don’t know what you want, life often amounts to a lot of busywork, reactivity, and fending off the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Knowing what you want focuses your attention and your efforts on what’s important, so you’re less likely to get caught up in the everyday stressors that can add up to a big mess of distress.

There are various things you can do to protect against or cope with stressors, such as eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep and exercise, and taking time to relax. But being clear about what you want (having direction) and developing a reliable sense of personal agency (knowing how much control you have or don’t have in a given situation) can actually help you develop immunity against the harmful, derailing effects of stress. It can even turn potential distress into eustress!

On Radical Change

November 20, 2015 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

To a great extent, the term radical was co-opted by the 60s. That decade represents many of my formative years, so the word has a particular connotation for me it may or may not have for you. In the 60s, being radical meant being politically extreme. It meant hippies, student activists, anarchy; civil rights, feminism, black power; free love, free speech, free school; the Black Panthers, the Weather Underground, the Yippies; sit-ins, demands, protests, the burning of draft cards and bras.

It meant upheaval and disruption on a massive scale—an attempt to change political, economic, and social structures at their fundamental levels. In fact one definition of a radical is: one who advocates fundamental or revolutionary changes in current practices, conditions, or institutions.

With or without the subtext of the 60s, radical is often used interchangeably with extreme. It’s interesting that we currently refer to radical Islam and Muslim extremists but Christian fundamentalists when we mean essentially the same thing in both cases. The word originates from the Latin radicalis, “of, or having, roots.” So radical refers to something fundamental, while radical change refers to change at a fundamental level, i.e., extreme change.

Radical activists in the 60s wanted extreme change, and they wanted it now. Other radical or extremist groups have wanted the same thing. There are all kinds of disruptive events and activities that may lead to social upheaval, just as there are all kinds of disruptive events and activities that may lead to personal upheaval. But upheaval isn’t synonymous with radical change. If you have any doubt about that, consider the uneven record of successes of the 60s activists.

If you want to make fundamental changes—socially or personally—you have to change mental models. And there is no short-cut for doing that. Changing mental models requires commitment, repetition, and persistence. It takes time.

People are looking for short-cuts, though, which is one of the things that’s so appealing about movements, charismatic speakers, advertising, political jingoism, and quick-fix self-help concepts. We’re exposed to these things every day, just as we’re exposed every day to things that could make us sick. Someone with a weak immune system will be more susceptible to germs and viruses than someone with a strong immune system. In the same way, if we don’t have a sense of who we are fundamentally and what we’re up to in life, we’re more susceptible to whatever comes along that promises to help us figure it out—and get it—pronto!

So I assert that taking the time to identify what we really want in our lives is perhaps the most radical act we can take. It’s radical because it can change us fundamentally by allowing us to determine and create consistently meaningful and satisfying lives on our own terms. If we’re living meaningful and satisfying lives, whether the going is easy or rough, we’re much less susceptible to snake-oil salesmen, politicians, or movements of any sort because we aren’t looking for meaning or salvation out there.

In order to effect radical change in the world, we need to take radical action on our own behalf. Being clear about what we want infuses us with a sense of purpose. And that sense of purpose is what keeps us focused on getting and maintaining the things that truly matter instead of wasting time on ineffective, trivial, destructive, or self-destructive pursuits. As members of the human race, each of us contributes, in large ways or small, to what doesn’t work in the world simply because of the way our brains are wired. However, it’s entirely possible to decrease our contribution to what doesn’t work and increase our contribution to what does work.

It’s entirely possible to be a catalyst for radical change in our own lives and in the lives of others. Identifying what we want and going after it is the most effective way to make a difference—on a fundamental level—not just in our own lives, but in the wider world, as well.

Character or Circumstances: Which Factor Is Stronger?

August 14, 2015 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

When it comes to determining how a person is likely to act or react at any given time, which factor plays a bigger role: personal character or the situation the person is in?

Research can be found that supports both sides, but I think we intuitively believe character plays the bigger role. We’re pretty sure we know how we would react even in situations we’ve never experienced because we believe we know who we are. And we behave consistently often enough that this belief isn’t usually tested or threatened. Feeling certain we know what we would do leads to many of the critical judgments we make about other people’s behavior.

On the other hand, classic experiments like Philip Zimbardo’s prison experiment and Stanley Milgram’s obedience experiments indicate that in some situations, ordinary people who would not otherwise do so are capable of behaving very badly toward their fellow humans. There has also been quite a bit of research on the effect of our environment on what we think and feel and the way we act. So before passing judgment on others, it has been suggested, we should try to “walk a mile in their shoes.”

This fascinating topic is addressed in one chapter of philosopher Julian Baggini’s book, The Ego Trick, which is one of the best books I’ve read so far this year.

The answer to the question of which plays a bigger role, character or situation is, not surprisingly, it depends.

When someone’s character is variable, the situation plays a bigger role in determining action. But when someone’s character is consistent, the situation plays a lesser role.

It’s more interesting than that, however.

Passive or Active

Some of our character traits are passive: they are “the set of dispositions we just happen to have as a result of our genes, upbringing and experience, without any particular effort on our own part.”

And some of our character traits are active: they are “the set of dispositions that we have because we’ve worked on developing them. To use a philosophical term of art, dispositions are active if they are the result of an individual’s attempts at self-constitution, to build who they are.”

As Baggini states, you can’t tell from the trait whether it’s passive or active. Someone who behaves in an extraverted manner may have had that tendency all along, which would make the trait passive. Or a person with a tendency toward introversion may have decided to try to become more extraverted, in which case their extraversion would be considered an active trait. He also says that “in real life, traits are never purely active or passive. Rather, they tend to greater activeness the more they reflect deliberate efforts to mould our own behaviours.”

Variable or Consistent

He further distinguishes passive traits as either variable or constant across situations, and he does the same with active traits. This leads to four trait categories:

passive and variable
passive and constant
active and variable
active and constant

All of us have traits in each of those categories. All of us are affected to one degree or another by the situations we’re in. However, the more our traits lean toward the passive and the variable, the more likely we are to be affected by situations. And the more our traits lean toward the active and the constant, the less likely we are to be affected by situations.

Results of behavior studies indicate that the majority of people behave differently across different situations and only a minority behaves consistently.

The evidence is that unless you try to cultivate traits, whether you display them will depend more on circumstances than on you. So consistency in character is something to be created; it does not arise organically.

As philosopher Christine Korsgaard says:

Beliefs and desires you have actively arrived at are more truly your own than those which have simply arisen in you.

The Takeaway

If you want to be less at the effect of your circumstances, one way to do that is to make a deliberate effort to cultivate those character traits you value.

Don’t be entirely surprised when your behavior is “out of character.”

And don’t be so sure you would behave differently in a given situation than other people who are in it are behaving.

How Many of these Myths Do You Believe?

March 12, 2015 by Joycelyn Campbell 4 Comments

These six beliefs are so pervasive they seem to be embedded in our culture. Most of them are meant to be motivational, but because they aren’t true, belief in these myths can have unintended consequences that harm rather than help. Ultimately, we need less external motivation and more straightforward education about how the brain and the mind actually work. Then we’ll be able to generate our own motivation—from inside.

Myth #1: We always have a choice.

The reality is that we rarely have a choice. The majority of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are the result of automatic brain processes. We operate on autopilot most of the time because that’s how our brain is wired. Contrary to popular belief, there’s not much we can do about that. But that’s neither an excuse nor a reason to give up. What we can do is reprogram some of our automatic behavior so it reflects what’s important to us and what we really want.

Myth #2: Anything is possible.

Sure there are lots of things we have the ability to change. But the reality is that we all have limits and constraints; we all face obstacles; and randomness plays a much greater role in our lives than we’d like to admit. No matter how many hours I put into practicing the violin, for example, if I have no musical talent (and I don’t), I will not be the next Jascha Heifetz or Joshua Bell. However, the more I practice the violin, the better a violinist I will become because although I may not be good, I can always get better.

Myth #3: To live a satisfying life, we need to identify our life purpose or passion.

The reality is that no matter how hard we search, we won’t find our life purpose because we don’t have one. In fact searching for a particular life purpose seems to lead more people to a state of paralyzing anxiety than it does to a sense of satisfaction or fulfillment. Giving up on the life-purpose myth can open the door to living with passion—which means identifying what we really want and then creating a big, juicy, satisfying life on our own terms.

Myth #4: It takes will power to achieve anything significant.

The reality is that will power is an unreliable resource that is easily exhausted. Will power and self-control are unequal to the task of changing habits or behavior or achieving big goals. We don’t need—and can’t get—more will power. What we do need is perseverance. Perseverance is what keeps us steadily moving toward the desired outcome regardless of setbacks or obstacles, adjusting course as we go. I call perseverance magic because it is.

Myth #5: If we focus our attention on the result we want, we’re more likely to get it.

The research has been in on this one for quite a while. The reality is that focusing on the end result (or outcome) of something we want actually decreases the likelihood we will get it. On the other hand, focusing our attention on the process—the individual steps or actions we need to take—increases the likelihood we’ll be successful.

Myth #6: We should always trust our gut.

The reality is that our gut instinct—otherwise known as intuition—is situation-specific and therefore fallible. Our unconscious (System 1) regularly makes suggestions to the conscious part of our brain (System 2). That’s what intuition is. If we know a lot about something or have a lot of experience in a particular area, we can probably rely on those suggestions. But intuition is not magic. In areas where we have no knowledge, skill, or experience, relying on intuition is a mistake. When intuition isn’t based on anything, it’s no better than a wild guess.

Letting go of these myths is one giant step toward creating a more deeply satisfying and meaningful life.

Got Goals?

August 24, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 2 Comments

Goal You probably won’t be surprised to learn that people who set low goals or no goals tend not to accomplish much. On the other hand, people who set goals not only get more done, they also tend to be happier and more satisfied with their lives. In addition, people who set and achieve challenging goals increase their self-confidence and self-esteem.

A goal without a plan is just a wish. –Seth Adam Smith

A goal is a specific state of affairs that a plan is intended to achieve and that (when achieved) terminates behavior intended to achieve it. In other words, once you complete the plan, you are finished working toward it. Formulating a goal is the first step toward achieving it. If you get this wrong, you will have a tough time getting what you want. A well-formulated goal identifies both a specific state of affairs and the time by when you intend to achieve it:

I intend to lose five pounds by November 1st rather than I want to lose some weight.

Two factors that will greatly increase the likelihood you will achieve your goal are:

Knowing why you’re doing it (how does it relate to what really matters to you?).
Making a commitment to doing it.

One follows from the other. If you aren’t sure why you’re setting or working toward a goal, you’ll have a harder time making a commitment to achieving it. There’s no point in putting time, effort, and energy into doing something half-heartedly or half-way. Of course, making a commitment doesn’t mean you can see into the future and know what the outcome will be. There are no guarantees. But if you build escape clauses and wiggle room into your goals right from the start, you’re probably wasting your time. Once you know why you want to achieve a goal and you have made a commitment to doing what it takes, these three steps can help you seal the deal:

Write it down. Writing out your goal can help you clarify it and solidify your commitment.
Make it SMART. That means Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.
Develop a plan. A plan consists of the action steps you need to take in order to achieve that specific state of affairs you are now committed to creating in your life.

Now go out there and make something happen!