Happiness Archives - Page 9 of 9

Freedom from Choice

February 17, 2013 by Joycelyn Campbell 7 Comments

The concepts of freedom and choice seem to belong side by side. What is freedom if not freedom to choose? The idea that we could be free, experience freedom, without also having and exercising the ability to choose is difficult to contemplate. But Krishnamurti believed otherwise.

We think that through choice we are free, but choice exists only when the mind is confused. There is no choice when the mind is clear. When you see things very clearly without any distortion, without any illusions, then there is no choice. A mind that is choiceless is a free mind, but a mind that chooses and therefore establishes a series of conflicts and contradictions is never free because it is in itself confused, divided, broken up.

In Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert relates the results of a study involving photography students who were put into two groups, the escapable group and the inescapable group. After developing their two best prints, all students were told they could keep one print, but the other print would be kept on file. The students in the escapable group were told they had several days to change their minds about which print they kept. The students in the inescapable group were not allowed to change their minds.

The results showed that students in the escapable group liked their photographs less than did students in the inescapable group…. Apparently, inescapable circumstances trigger the psychological defenses that enable us to achieve positive views of those circumstances, but we do not anticipate that this will happen.

I got a taste of this recently when some blood test results turned a couple of things that had, until then, been desirable to do into things I have to do. When I merely wanted to do them, they were actually a much bigger issue. I was invested in figuring out the best way to do them. When I was presented with this new information, I gave up trying to figure it out and began doing them just like that. It took me a couple of days to come to terms with the situation. I briefly bemoaned my perceived lack of choice in the matter, but I’m no longer struggling with it. My mind isn’t at all confused about the situation. And the truth is that I do feel a much greater sense of freedom than I did when I believed doing or not doing those things was a matter of choice (escapable).

The costs and benefits of freedom are clear–but alas, they are not equally clear: We have no trouble anticipating the advantages that freedom may provide, but we seem blind to the joys it can undermine. –Daniel Gilbert

Creativity

January 27, 2013 by Joycelyn Campbell 3 Comments

Dancing Girl (Photo credit: Just Mary Designs)

Creativity is not efficient. She has a different relationship to time than most of us. A minute can last a day and a day can last an hour. She loves all the seasons. She is on intimate terms with the sun and the moon. It is New Year’s all year long at her house, what with celebrations for the Celtic, Hebrew, Tibetan, Chinese, Japanese, and other New Years too numerous to mention. Creativity loves to gossip with the birds and put on her masks and beads and dance with the animals. Although bright colors amuse her, she most often wears neutral tones. She is especially partial to off-white.

Some people consider Creativity selfish because she does what she wants I have always found her to be gracious and most generous. She is certainly complex. If you have only met her in a serene mood, her flair for drama may offend you. She is not your aunt with the porcelain teapot who plays chamber music. If you are one of those people who only go to see her when she is starring in a major melodrama, you will not hear her rain songs. If you insist she is mad, you will never see how still her face is when she returns from a dream.

Sometimes Creativity disappears completely or wanders around the back alleys for weeks at a time. She has a strong need to be occasionally anonymous. If you run into her at the post office line during one of these periods, you will probably not recognize her. She is in a different place. It is almost as if her blood has slowed down. When the blank period is over, Creativity brings her free self home with her. Her skin is new. She is ready to work. More than anyone else, Creativity understands the secret meanings of the months when nothing seems to get done.

J. Ruth Gendler, The Book of Qualities

The Book of Qualities is a beautiful little book that portrays human qualities as characters and gets to the heart of each of them. The assorted qualities Gendler brings to life also make a great journaling keyword list, too.

More on creativity next time!

You Are What You Do

January 24, 2013 by Joycelyn Campbell 1 Comment

The to-do list (Photo credit: Digging For Fire)

You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. –Carl Jung

The future is filled with a profusion of things to be done, or at least things we say are going to be done, even if we only say it to ourselves. They are listed on our calendars and to-do lists, jotted down on random scraps of papers as reminders, declared as New Year’s resolutions, itemized as goals to be achieved, and enumerated on “bucket” or wish lists.

Some of these are things we have to do. Some are things we think we should do. Some are things we aspire or hope to do. And some are things we want to do. So that’s at least four categories of things to be done. And those categories can be broken down further.

Of the things we have to do, some are easy and automatic, some are annoying and difficult, some can be put off for a short time, some require drop-everything-else attention, and some have unpleasant consequences attached to their not getting done.

Of the things we think we should do, some are bad habits we want to change, some are good habits we want to take up, some are admonitions from our Inner Critic, and some stem from our own or other people’s expectations.

Of the things we aspire or hope to do, some reflect our highest and best intentions, some are things we’ve previously attempted and failed at, some are challenging but exciting, and some seem always to be the bridesmaid, but never the bride.

Of the things we want to do, some can be easily satisfied (instant gratification), some require a little or a lot of planning, some are like itches that have to be scratched, and some are pie-in-the-sky dreams we don’t really expect will be realized.

These are just some of the categories, and the list is by no means exhaustive. I’d suggest you stop right now and write down everything you have to, should, aspire to, and want to do, but you probably already have too much to do. I know I do.

Things to be done can be a vicious taskmaster ruling our every waking hour and ready with the lash should we fall a few steps back. Once in thrall to things to be done, we tend to forget we played a role in creating the beast in the first place.

If it’s true–to any extent–that we are what we do, a good question to stop and ask from time to time is, “What am I doing?”

No App for Happiness

January 10, 2013 by Joycelyn Campbell 2 Comments

We know now that external circumstances don’t predicate happiness. As we know, there are many poor people who are very happy and wealthy people who are extremely depressed, suicidal. What I’m talking about is the daily experience of a meaningful life. I find that when people feel like they have meaning in their lives, they define themselves as happy. They want to get up in the morning. It’s not just a fleeting experience because they had a glamorous holiday or won the lottery or something, but they actually have meaning. Meaning brings fulfillment. So the first imperative is self-awareness.

Max Strom, author of There Is No App for Happiness
Interviewed by Suzanne Lindgren in the January/February 2013 Utne Reader

The book isn’t yet available. But here’s Max Strom giving a TEDx talk in Greenville:

If you listen to/watch the video, please note that Max Strom is on Facebook. 🙂

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