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When the Going Gets Grueling

April 21, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 2 Comments

Better work flow: get organized
(Photo credit: Jodimichelle)

No one struggles to get through the good times or looks for strategies to cope with them. But the tough or unpleasant times are different. The attitudes or strategies we use when things are going great don’t necessarily work—or work the same—when things are not so great. What does it actually take to get through those difficult days or weeks or months?

I’m someone who is 100% responsible for every single aspect and task in my life, as are many other people. I’m also someone who operates a business on my own and is 100% responsible for every single aspect and task of the business, as are more and more other people these days. The number of things to do and things to keep track of when you’re 100% responsible for everything doesn’t just feel overwhelming at times, it is overwhelming. All the time. I sometimes wonder if people like me—and there are many of us—have some kind of a glutton-for-punishment gene.

While many of the things I do are stimulating and satisfying, there are plenty of other things that are some combination of boring, difficult, and exhausting. I’m sure this is true for everyone, whether or not you’re running a business solo or living your life that way.

While I don’t always think I get through the difficult times as well as I could, I generally do get through them. Recently, I finished 10+ days focused entirely on organizing course materials and office systems (well, that and all the things I need to do to keep the rest of my life running). I desperately want a clutter-free office, but I also desperately dislike putting time and attention into this kind of stuff. I realize this isn’t equivalent to putting in hard labor, but still, dislike is putting it mildly.

It had to be done, though. Investing the time and energy now in something I don’t like doing will make it possible for me to spend more time down the road doing what I do like doing. But it was pretty grueling. I forced myself to find a place for every single piece of paper or index card or else toss it out. I updated and printed copies of all the course materials that have been finalized. I made sure the systems I set up worked, and if they didn’t, I tweaked them until they did.

In order to hunker down and finish this project, I gave up going to the gym for a week. I didn’t do any writing of any kind or any research. All of my conscious (System 2) attention went to dealing with these organizational details; nothing was left over for anything else. And, of course, none of the many other things on my to-do list, all of which are equally important, got done. By the end of each day, I was stiff, tired, and out of sorts.

But I saw the project through to the end. It was well worth the diversion of time and effort, the sacrifice of small pleasures, and the multiple calluses on my mouse hand. There’s no way I could have accomplished this by doing a little bit here and there. Once I freed up a few brain cells, I started thinking about the question in the first paragraph: what attributes or characteristics make it easier to stick with something unpleasant or difficult long enough to achieve a degree of success.

This is what I came up with:

  • Fortitude (Don’t Leave Home Without It)
  • Focus (Keep Your Eyes on the Prize)
  • Patience (Learn to Play the Waiting Game)
  • Embrace Uncertainty
  • Know When to Get Assistance
  • Reduce the Clutter in Your Life

I think anyone—no matter what their individual circumstances—would benefit from having or developing these attributes. So I’ll be writing a post on each one—including how our brain can help or hinder us—on consecutive Mondays beginning next week.

As I said, my organizational stint doesn’t qualify as hard labor. It was sort of like putting myself in the penalty box for a period and having to sit out a portion of the game.

What kind of work or tasks do you have that (when you’re doing them) make you feel like you’re in the penalty box for a period?Enhanced by Zemanta

Filed Under: Brain, Happiness, Living, Purpose Tagged With: Being Successful, Business Owner, Fortitude, Getting Organized, Responsibility, Success

Roll the Dice

April 12, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 4 Comments

English: A pair of dice Español: Dados cúbicos.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been thinking lately about randomness and probabilities. And then there’s this poem by Charles Bukowski.

On the face of it, it seems to have more to do with commitment than with rolling the dice. But maybe he’s talking about taking a chance–or taking the chance. The big one.

if you’re going to try, go all the way.
otherwise, don’t even start.

if you’re going to try, go all the way.
this could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.

go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.
it could mean freezing on a
park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your
endurance, of
how much you really want to do it.
and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else
you can imagine.

if you’re going to try, go all the way.
there is no other feeling like that.
you will be alone with the gods
and the nights will flame with fire.

do it, do it, do it.
do it.

all the way
all the way.

you will ride life straight to
perfect laughter, it’s
the only good fight
there is.

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Filed Under: Happiness, Living, Meaning, Purpose Tagged With: Chance, Charles Bukowski, Living, Meaning, Purpose, Randomness, Roll the Dice

It’s Good to Be Here

March 29, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

It's Good to Be Here

Filed Under: Consciousness, Happiness, Living, Meaning, Mindfulness Tagged With: Being Present, Candy Chang, Consciousness, Happiness, Living, Mindfulness

Stomp on the Porch. Bang on the Door.

March 8, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 2 Comments

Three beautiful poems about waking up.

1. Summons

(by Robert Francis)

Keep me from going to sleep too soon
Or if I go to sleep too soon
Come wake me up. Come any hour
Of night. Come whistling up the road.
Stomp on the porch. Bang on the door.
Make me get out of bed and come
And let you in and light a light.
Tell me the northern lights are on
And make me look. Or tell me clouds
Are doing something to the moon
They never did before, and show me.
See that I see. Talk to me till
I’m half as wide awake as you
And start to dress wondering why
I ever went to bed at all.
Tell me the walking is superb.
Not only tell me but persuade me.
You know I’m not too hard persuaded.

2. The Worm’s Waking

(by Rumi)

This is how a human being can change:

there’s a worm addicted to eating
grape leaves.

Suddenly, he wakes up,
call it grace, whatever, something
wakes him, and he’s no longer
a worm.

He’s the entire vineyard,
and the orchard too, the fruit, the trunks,
a growing wisdom and joy
that doesn’t need
to devour.

3. Throw Yourself Like Seed

(by Miguel de Unamuno)

Shake off this sadness, and recover your spirit;
Sluggish you will never see the wheel of fate
That brushes your heel as it turns going by,
The man who wants to live is the man in whom life is abundant.

Now you are only giving food to that final pain
Which is slowly winding you in the nets of death,
But to live is to work, and the only thing which lasts
Is the work; start there, turn to the work.

Throw yourself like seed as you walk, and into your own field,
Don’t turn your face for that would be to turn it to death,
And do not let the past weigh down your motion.

Leave what’s alive in the furrow, what’s dead in yourself,
for life does not move in the same way as a group of clouds;
From your work you will be able one day to gather yourself.

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Filed Under: Consciousness, Creating, Happiness, Living, Meaning Tagged With: Living, Miguel de Unamuno, Poetry, Robert Francis, Rumi, Waking Up

and One Pill Makes You Small…

February 17, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 6 Comments

Alice through the Looking Glass
Alice through the Looking Glass (Photo credit: sammydavisdog)
 …so don’t swallow that pill!

If you’re playing small, making yourself small, or trying to convince yourself and everyone else that you’re too small to make a difference or to be worth bothering with, just stop it.

Undoubtedly you have reasons for playing small, but the reasons don’t matter.

A hundred people may come up with a hundred different reasons, but they’re all in futile pursuit of the same basic stuff:

Safety
Security
Contentment
Satisfaction
Certainty

Pursuit of these things is futile because they are either impossible to get or impossible to get and keep—ironically, especially by playing small.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. –Clint Eastwood

People who are playing small are usually also pursuing happiness, but they would prefer not to be disturbed. Maybe this is the source of the idea of being happy as a clam—or happy as a clam at high tide, which is the complete idiom, high tide being the time when clams are least likely to be disturbed by clam diggers. Unfortunately being alive and being disturbed kind of go hand-in-hand unless you’re living in some kind of protective bubble.

If you’re aiming for safety, security, contentment, satisfaction, and certainty, what are you willing to give up in exchange? Are you willing to give up your freedom? Your vitality, energy, and power? The possibilities for joy, adventure, creativity, spontaneity, and aliveness? Are you willing to give up your life? How afraid are you of failing, making a mistaken, losing, getting hurt, having to expend too much effort, being outside your comfort zone? Have you set most of your expectations of yourself so low that even when you meet them it merits nothing more than a yawn?

You’re bigger than that. Maybe its time to try taking the other pill, metaphorically speaking.

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Filed Under: Beliefs, Brain, Consciousness, Happiness, Living, Mind, Purpose Tagged With: Certainty, Consciousness, Contentment, Happiness, Happy as a Clam, Living, Playing Small, Safety, Satisfaction, Security

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