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Brain-Based Transformational Solutions

Inside Week 4 of What Do You Want?

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This is the fourth guest post by Jean S., who is sharing her experience of participating the 6-week What Do You Want? course. She previously wrote about week 1, week 2 and week 3.

During this class we took some time to consider our personal responses to the oft-quoted Marianne Williamson statement: “There is no passion to be found in playing small—in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” Has this quote ever taken your breath away?  Have you ever looked this quote in the eye and asked yourself which way you are living—with passion, or settling?  Or what?  And why?

I find that to think about “the life I am capable of living” versus the life I have lived so far is both scary and exciting at the same time.  I think about how frequently I “play small,” rather than BE who I really am—magnificent and brilliant.  I’m sure this is true of others.

Living with passion, I suspect, is what happens when we engage with even the little things in each day, rather than just to go along, get along, get by each day.  When I bring my own, unique contribution into the world, it’s an offering that only I can give, which is energizing in its own way—for me and, perhaps, for the world around me.

You may find this sort of investigation leads to other questions.  More questions lead to more thought and probably some insights. This is good! As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Well, you know how spreading that around ended for him. Watch out, Joycelyn.

Inside Week 1 of What Do You Want?

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This is a guest post by Jean S., who is sharing her experience of participating the 6-week What Do You Want? course. More posts by Jean will follow, on consecutive Thursdays, as she gives us her perspective on the rest of the sessions.

Nila's Mama (Left) Preforms with a Barbershop ...
Barbershop Quartet (Photo credit: Lea LSF)

I used to think there was something wrong with me because there are things I really, truly want and need to do before I die, and yet I haven’t gone after them, or even half-satisfied the need. In the first meeting of the What Do You Want? course, I learned that it isn’t a flaw in me. It’s System 1, the unconscious, doing its job, what it knows how to do, which is maintaining the status quo. That’s a biggie. As Joycelyn said, “The unconscious keeps you alive, but isn’t interested in enlivening you.”

There are always worksheets which we complete in class, and if not done in class would be harder to do on my own at home. We learn and expand our own thinking as we take turns sharing our thoughts and writing, which we could not do at home, alone. By writing in class, we are sure to get it done, or at least get the process started.

We are never asked to share things that we are not ready to, although sort of by the nature of this work, we end up sharing a lot and finding we have a strong, mutually supportive group.

The main assignment for this week was to fill out one 5″ x 8″ card per day, dedicated to completing the sentence that starts: “What I really want is…” I have gotten past criticizing my every entry. I hear when it starts to sound like a “what I don’t want is…” list. My entries can range from little things that have been bugging me in my environment, such as “What I really want is a new, hand-held shower head,” to somewhat more elusive goals such as “to be clear as much as possible about how to behave so as to be my best self.”

I don’t pay attention to whether it makes sense to put something on this list.  I just keep writing. Day after day, many of the same things come up and this tells me they must really be important enough to me to do something about.

Then there are little surprises, like “What I really want is to sing in a Barbershop Quartet.”

The class is provocative, as Joycelyn has many ways to shift our thinking and our understanding about the way we work. This is a great investigation, and I see how exposing it all to light will help us make a difference in our “status quo,” even if we sometimes drag our feet in the process.

When the Going Gets Grueling

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Better work flow: get organized
(Photo credit: Jodimichelle)

No one struggles to get through the good times or looks for strategies to cope with them. But the tough or unpleasant times are different. The attitudes or strategies we use when things are going great don’t necessarily work—or work the same—when things are not so great. What does it actually take to get through those difficult days or weeks or months?

I’m someone who is 100% responsible for every single aspect and task in my life, as are many other people. I’m also someone who operates a business on my own and is 100% responsible for every single aspect and task of the business, as are more and more other people these days. The number of things to do and things to keep track of when you’re 100% responsible for everything doesn’t just feel overwhelming at times, it is overwhelming. All the time. I sometimes wonder if people like me—and there are many of us—have some kind of a glutton-for-punishment gene.

While many of the things I do are stimulating and satisfying, there are plenty of other things that are some combination of boring, difficult, and exhausting. I’m sure this is true for everyone, whether or not you’re running a business solo or living your life that way.

While I don’t always think I get through the difficult times as well as I could, I generally do get through them. Recently, I finished 10+ days focused entirely on organizing course materials and office systems (well, that and all the things I need to do to keep the rest of my life running). I desperately want a clutter-free office, but I also desperately dislike putting time and attention into this kind of stuff. I realize this isn’t equivalent to putting in hard labor, but still, dislike is putting it mildly.

It had to be done, though. Investing the time and energy now in something I don’t like doing will make it possible for me to spend more time down the road doing what I do like doing. But it was pretty grueling. I forced myself to find a place for every single piece of paper or index card or else toss it out. I updated and printed copies of all the course materials that have been finalized. I made sure the systems I set up worked, and if they didn’t, I tweaked them until they did.

In order to hunker down and finish this project, I gave up going to the gym for a week. I didn’t do any writing of any kind or any research. All of my conscious (System 2) attention went to dealing with these organizational details; nothing was left over for anything else. And, of course, none of the many other things on my to-do list, all of which are equally important, got done. By the end of each day, I was stiff, tired, and out of sorts.

But I saw the project through to the end. It was well worth the diversion of time and effort, the sacrifice of small pleasures, and the multiple calluses on my mouse hand. There’s no way I could have accomplished this by doing a little bit here and there. Once I freed up a few brain cells, I started thinking about the question in the first paragraph: what attributes or characteristics make it easier to stick with something unpleasant or difficult long enough to achieve a degree of success.

This is what I came up with:

I think anyone—no matter what their individual circumstances—would benefit from having or developing these attributes. So I’ll be writing a post on each one—including how our brain can help or hinder us—on consecutive Mondays beginning next week.

As I said, my organizational stint doesn’t qualify as hard labor. It was sort of like putting myself in the penalty box for a period and having to sit out a portion of the game.

What kind of work or tasks do you have that (when you’re doing them) make you feel like you’re in the penalty box for a period?Enhanced by Zemanta

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joycelyn@farthertogo.com
505-332-8677