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Are You Living the Good Life?

August 28, 2015 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

goodlife2

Does living “the good life” mean living a happy life? Or does it mean living a meaningful life? Although happiness and meaning correlate positively, as the researchers put it—or at least overlap to some extent—they are not the same thing and in some cases they represent two entirely different paths.

The concept of “the good life” is often credited to Aristotle, although there was considerable debate among the Greeks as to exactly what constituted a good life.

Aristotle thought the good life included virtue and excellence of character, along with health, wealth, and beauty. His view fits somewhere in between the Stoics, who believed virtue was sufficient, and Epicurus, who believed the good life was strictly one of pleasure.

The Greeks had a word for happiness, which they considered to be an important element of the good life. Eudaemonia has several possible translations, including “human flourishing” or “good spirit.” But what does that mean?

For most people today, the concept of the good life has come to represent the life one wants to, or would prefer to, live. For some, that’s a life of pleasure, but not for all. Whatever its components, the good life is something to strive for, wish for, or hope to achieve. Interestingly, however, no matter how we define it, or how well off we are, the good life is persistently difficult to attain.

When people are dissatisfied with their lives, their dissatisfaction seems to be the starting point for identifying what a good life would look like and then going after it. But how you go about pursuing the good life depends on what you think the solution to your dissatisfaction might be: happiness or meaningfulness.

The Pursuit of Happiness vs. the Pursuit of Meaningfulness

Quite a bit of research has been conducted to determine how people who pursue happiness actually feel and how people who pursue meaningfulness actually feel. The results of the research are pretty clear, but there are a few problems with the concept.

One problem is with the way the issue tends to be phrased. The pursuit of happiness vs. the pursuit of meaning doesn’t accurately describe what we’re talking about. Meaningfulness doesn’t reside “out there,” so it isn’t something we can go after. We determine the meaning of things. Things (or people or situations or activities) mean something to us because we have assigned meaning to them. And the meaning we assign to them is very specific and very personal. A thing can mean one thing to one person and something else to another person. In addition, the meaning we assign to things, people, situations, or activities can change. If meaning resided within the thing, the meaning of the thing wouldn’t change.

As David DiSalvo says, we are meaning-makers. We can focus our lives on what we determine is meaningful to us, but we can’t go looking for meaning out there and expect to find anything.

Another problem is that happiness vs. meaningfulness represents an apples and oranges kind of comparison. Happiness is a feeling, and therefore transient. It’s the nature of feelings to come and go. Happiness bubbles up in us, often unexpectedly, and the unexpectedness is part of its charm or desirability. If we were happy all the time—which is impossible, anyway—we would miss out on that aspect of it. And since happiness is a feeling—an experience—it is subjective. It’s not easy to describe our personal experience of happiness to someone else.

“When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.” —Humpty Dumpty

A third problem results from this ephemeral nature of happiness: how do you define it? Some people have decided that happiness means what they choose it to mean:

In her 2007 book The How of Happiness, positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky [describes] happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” —Greater Good Science Center website

The Greater Good Science Center is well-meaning, but the notion that you can’t experience happiness unless you also believe your life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile—whatever that means—is absurd. Ask a toddler.

Viktor Frankl (Man’s Search for Meaning) said, “Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to ‘be happy.’” So he and Lyubomirsky appear to be on the same page. But it isn’t true that happiness can’t be pursued. It’s pursued all the time by quite a large number of people—not only pursued, but attained—at least temporarily. It’s also not true that money can’t buy happiness. It doesn’t always, but it definitely can. At least for a while.

Attempting to maintain a steady-state of happiness requires the ongoing pursuit of bigger and better things or experiences. We have an unfortunate tendency to become complacent with what we already have. We then require more things and more experiences to feed our happiness addiction—or our pleasure addiction, if we’re on board with Epicurus and consider the good life to be a life of hedonism. Yet another piece of bad news is the overwhelming evidence that most of us don’t really know what will make us happy, which can make the pursuit of happiness extremely frustrating and possibly even futile.

Happy as a Clam*

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling happy or wanting to feel happy. Happiness is great stuff, but there’s a reason why pursuing it or trying to be happy all the time is not a good idea.

A good mood is a signal [to the brain] that things are generally going well, the environment is safe, and it is all right to let one’s guard down. A bad mood indicates that things are not going very well, there may be a threat, and vigilance is required.

Good mood, intuition, creativity, gullibility, and increased reliance on System 1 form a cluster. At the other pole, sadness, vigilance, suspicion, an analytic approach, and increased effort also go together. A happy mood loosens the control of System 2 over performance: when in a good mood, people become more intuitive and more creative but also less vigilant and more prone to logical errors. —Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow

*The full expression is happy as a clam at high tide. Clams are happy at high tide because they can only be dug up at low tide. At high tide they’re safe and secure, which is what System 1 wants us to be.

The Good Life: Gratified or Satisfied?

So what’s the solution to the problem of dissatisfaction? Pursuing happiness and pursuing what is meaningful use different parts of our brain. The pursuit of happiness keeps us fixated on ourselves and on gratifying our immediate wants and needs. Our unconscious (System 1) is focused on the short-term rewards that make us feel good in the moment (because that indicates we’re safe) but which can actually add up to an increase in dissatisfaction. The pursuit of happiness doesn’t appear to be the solution to our existential dissatisfaction.

We have the ability to determine what is meaningful to us. Because what is meaningful is less transitory, we have a much better chance of achieving and sustaining a meaningful life—and therefore a satisfying one—than we have of achieving and maintaining a happy life. When we’re oriented to something bigger than we are—and bigger than our immediate wants and needs—we’re less susceptible to the pull of immediate gratification. When we give our big brain (consciousness, System 2) something worthwhile to focus on, we can achieve goals or create things that actually make a difference, to us and to others.

Our obsession with happiness may be intimately related to a feeling of emptiness, to a sense that our lives lack meaning. Although we recognize our dissatisfaction, we don’t realize the source of it. As a result, we’re stuck on the hamster wheel of System 1 looking for the solution in all the wrong places, unable to look up long enough to even identify what’s most important to us, let alone figure out how to attain it.

Filed Under: Beliefs, Creating, Happiness, Living, Meaning Tagged With: Good Life, Happiness, Meaning, Meaningfulness

Is Coffee Ruining your Life?

July 10, 2015 by Joycelyn Campbell 5 Comments

coffee willpowerThis past week, Scientific American online ran an article titled “The Problem of Artificial Willpower.” It was based on a research paper by Torben Kjaersgaard, who is in the Department of Sport Science at Aarhus University in Denmark. Kjaersgaard’s concern is the off-label use of prescription stimulants—such as Adderall, which is normally used in the treatment of ADHD, and modafinil, which is normally used in the treatment of daytime sleepiness caused by sleep apnea or narcolepsy—to enhance motivation. This might not have caught my attention had Kjaersgaard not also targeted coffee.

Kjaersgaard acknowledges that healthy individuals who use prescription stimulants—and/or caffeine—to enhance their performance report increased motivation as a significant effect. This is certainly not surprising. It’s also not surprising that it makes them feel good. What concerns Kjaersgaard is the ethics of motivation enhancement.

In this article I discuss ethical issues of motivation enhancement induced by currently available prescription drugs. I argue that medically enhanced motivation raises questions concerning the ethics of accomplishment and the value of human effort [emphasis mine].

Kjaarsgaard—and the author of the Scientific American blog post, Hazen Zohny—appear to believe that coffee drinkers may simply be masking “the meaninglessness of it all” until, “several thousand of those (caffeine) hits later, you find yourself middle-aged and struggling with a sense that you haven’t quite spent your life as you would have liked.” All because of…coffee.

Zohny wonders if we should really be “using substances that enhance our enjoyment and interest in…pursuits we would otherwise find meaningless and alienating.”

Might we end up leading deeply inauthentic lives, using pharmaceutically-induced willpower to waft through a life that otherwise means nothing to us?

Kjaersgaard is concerned that our lack of motivation for a task or a job is a symptom of a deeper problem, in which case instead of enhancing our motivation temporarily (for example by having a cup of coffee), we should instead stop and re-evaluate the course of our lives. Say what? I’m pretty sure my lack of motivation for some of the tasks I have to do is directly related to the nature of the tasks (I find them boring or otherwise unpleasant, but such is life) rather than indicative of “a deeper problem.” Sometimes it’s a cup of coffee that provides me with artificial motivation and sometimes it’s loud, upbeat music or a brisk walk. Should I give up the music and the walking along with the coffee? I was reassured to see that the majority of Scientific American commenters didn’t buy what Kjaersgaard and Zohny were selling, either, and so I went about my caffeinated life.

However, the next day I came across an even more over-the-top take on the subject in a Facebook post titled “Drugs that Make Us Feel Smart Are Ruining Our Lives.” Yes, that would be Adderall, Ritalin, and caffeine. The author reports that “college students feel amazing when they take Adderall.” He doesn’t object to the students’ use of prescription stimulants per se, but to the fact that the drugs cause these students to be “artificially interested in topics they otherwise wouldn’t care about.”

So instead of finding their true, authentic selves, they bend their will to ace exams they feel no passion for.

Well, I’m sure all colleges would be happy to allow students to take only courses they are interested in—and, of course, students already know what they are interested in at the time they enroll. But no; it turns out that “young people are meant to be discovering their true interests” while in college. So…wait, what?

This bizarre line of thinking is a wacky combination of Puritanism and New-Age nonsense, which is why it makes no sense and is insulting to boot. The idea that everyone not only has the luxury of discovering their “true interests” and spending their lives engaged in pursuing them (all intrinsically motivated), but also the duty to do so is ridiculous. This is the kind of first-world, made-up problem we ought to be ashamed of even entertaining. I would like to be pointed in the direction of any person, anywhere who never wants or could use some artificial motivation.

Mom, is your baby keeping you up at night? Instead of having that cup of coffee every morning, you might want to re-evaluate this whole parenthood thing.

As a former substance abuse counselor, I’m certainly not advocating the unfettered recreational use of prescription drugs. But the use of caffeine and prescription drugs isn’t really the issue.

One issue is that the authors of these articles want us to stop trying to make ourselves feel better, stop trying to “tolerate a long-term circumstance,” stop trying to make ourselves “feel up to the task.” Instead we should “experience the incongruity” and change our lives. This advice seems doctrinaire, heartless, and wildly unrealistic. What if the long-term circumstance can’t be changed?

Another issue is rampant insensitivity to the lives and experiences of masses of other people who are not like them. What about those who are unemployed, hungry, homeless, abused, enslaved, trafficked, live in the middle of a war zone, or are without the basic necessities we take for granted? Is it OK for them to do whatever they need to do to get through the day—and through whatever unfulfilling, uninteresting, possibly dangerous and/or backbreaking work they may be able to find? Or should they, too, be focused on discovering their true interests and true, authentic selves because settling for less would be a cop out?

A third issue is their attempt to impose their belief system on other people. I was glad to see quite a few commenters call out the author of the Facebook article (as did I) on his assumption of the existence of a true, authentic self. I offered the possibility that one’s true, authentic self might be a caffeine fiend. Several others agreed with me. (One person said his true, authentic self wanted to be someone else.)

When a commenter asked what I would consider “evidence” of what I referred to as the vague and nebulous authentic self, someone immediately suggested he read Candide.

Instead of obsessing over finding our true, authentic selves, we might be better off trying to be kinder to each other, cutting each other more slack, and working a little harder to level the playing field for the people, both in our own neighborhoods and on the other side of the world, who would be more than happy to trade their problems for this imaginary one.

And I will most definitely not be giving up coffee anytime soon.

Filed Under: Beliefs, Cognitive Biases, Happiness, Living, Meaning Tagged With: Caffeine, Motivation, Prescription Drugs, Willpower

Pursuing Happiness? Don’t Get Stuck on the Hedonic Treadmill

December 12, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 3 Comments

hedonic treadmillWhen you’re on the hedonic treadmill, you need to keep moving in order to maintain your existing state of happiness. That means acquiring more and more of the things or experiences that initially brought you pleasure. The problem is that attempting to maintain a steady-state of happiness is unnatural. Pursuing happiness may not be the way to attain it.

Here is some food for thought on the subject of happiness and its alternatives.

The human animal, like others, is adapted to a certain amount of struggle for life, and when by means of great wealth homo sapiens can gratify all his whims without effort, the mere absence of effort from his life removes an essential ingredient of happiness. The man who acquires easily things for which he feels only a very moderate desire concludes that the attainment of desire does not bring happiness. If he is of a philosophic disposition, he concludes that human life is essentially wretched, since the man who has all he wants is still unhappy. He forgets that to be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. —Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness

Constraints give your life shape. Remove them and most people have no idea what to do: look at what happens to those who win lotteries or inherit money. Much as everyone thinks they want financial security, the happiest people are not those who have it, but those who like what they do.
–Paul Graham, Programmer, Writer, Investor

Happy chemicals did not evolve to be on all the time. They evolved to promote your survival. …Happy chemicals flow when you see a way to meet your needs. …Unhappy chemicals feel bad because that works. It gets your attention fast. —Loretta Graziano Breuning, Ph.D. Meet Your Happy Chemicals

Uncertainty can preserve and prolong our happiness, thus we might expect people to cherish it. In fact, the opposite is generally the case. —Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness

We know now that external circumstances don’t predicate happiness. As we know, there are many poor people who are very happy and wealthy people who are extremely depressed, suicidal. What I’m talking about is the daily experience of a meaningful life. I find that when people feel like they have meaning in their lives, they define themselves as happy. They want to get up in the morning. It’s not just a fleeting experience because they had a glamorous holiday or won the lottery or something, but they actually have meaning. Meaning brings fulfillment. So the first imperative is self-awareness. —Max Strom, author of There Is No App for Happiness

The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us. —Ashley Montagu, Anthropologist

Imagine that you are part of a grand experiment in which you are provided with everything you need. At regular intervals, you are given gifts of money, food, love, sex, fame—whatever you want. The only catch is that you can do nothing that increases or decreases the likelihood of obtaining these rewards. In fact, in order to receive the rewards, you have to spend eight hours a day in a room doing nothing—no career to occupy your time, no one to talk to, no books to read, no paintings to paint, no music to compose—in short, nothing to engage you. Even though you can get any reward you want, this would be a hellish life. —Timothy D. Wilson, Strangers to Ourselves

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. —Carl Jung, Psychiatrist/Psychotherapist

Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind. —Marcel Proust

We are living in an era in which the Happiness Industry invades and permeates society and every unpleasant aspect of life is frowned upon, and dismissed as an unnecessary social ill. Rather than learning to cope with or contemplate certain aspects of life – fear, sadness, loneliness and boredom – we avoid them, gradually removing our ability to tolerate even the most mundane of the difficult aspects of life.  —Siobhan Lyons, Philosophy Now

Sunshine dulls the mind to risk and thoughtfulness. —Adam Alter, Drunk Tank Pink

Filed Under: Beliefs, Finding What You Want, Happiness, Living, Uncertainty Tagged With: Happiness, Hedonic Treadmill, Living, Suffering

The Anticipation Machine Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be

December 8, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

anticipationPhilosopher Daniel Dennett describes the human brain as an “anticipation machine.” He says that making future is the most important thing it does.

Most of us do not struggle to think about the future because mental simulations of the future arrive in our consciousness regularly and unbidden, occupying every corner of our mental lives. –Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness

Unfortunately, the process the brain uses—adding the past to the present to equal (predict) the future—is far from a fail-safe method for figuring out either what actually lies ahead or how we will feel should what we anticipate come to pass. Our “anticipation machine” creates what we experience as expectations: estimates or forecasts of future situations based on present or past experiences. Expectations are beliefs we have about what should happen or about the way things should or will be.

But the future is fundamentally different from the present; therefore, it isn’t something we can accurately imagine. Our images of the future are firmly lodged in the now, in what we already know and are familiar with. Our visions of what may be possible in the future are heavily constrained by what has already been—or rather, by the stories we’ve constructed about it. We’re not influenced by the past as much as we’re influenced by our stories about the past.

Who I am is the habit of what I always was and who I’ll be is the result. –Louise Erdrich

Not only is the future not the same as the present, but according to Daniel Gilbert, our future self is not the same as our present self (nor is our present self the same as our past self). Our future self may want nothing to do with the commitments our present self is busy making for it or the plans our present self is setting into motion at this very moment.

The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you’ve ever been. The one constant in our life is change. –Daniel Gilbert

But wait; there’s more.

We try to repeat those experiences that we remember with pleasure and pride, and we try to avoid repeating those that we remember with embarrassment and regret. The trouble is that we often don’t remember them correctly. –Daniel Gilbert

So the bottom line is that we don’t remember the past—which we’re basing quite a few of our expectations on—correctly, we’re no good at imagining what the future is going to be like, and we can’t accurately imagine how we’re going to react to future events when they do occur.

When we spy the future through our prospectiscopes, the clarity of the next hour and the fuzziness of the next year can lead us to make a variety of mistakes. –Daniel Gilbert

But that doesn’t stop us from believing we can predict the future or from feeling certain we know what will make us happy or satisfied once we’re living in it. Our brain, after all, does crave certainty.

We tend to accept the brain’s products uncritically and expect the future to unfold with the details—and with only the details—that the brain has imagined. –Daniel Gilbert

There’s simply no way to guarantee our future happiness. There’s no way to guarantee anything. But quite a bit of research suggests that one of the biggest things that gets in the way of happiness is our firm belief that we know what will make us happy. What would it be like to loosen the reins, to let go of that mistaken notion? What would it be like to allow ourselves to stop trying to guarantee our happiness and allow ourselves to…stumble on it?

Filed Under: Beliefs, Brain, Clarity, Happiness, Living, Mind, Uncertainty Tagged With: Anticipation, Expectations, Future, Happiness, Making Future, Past, Present, Stumbling on Happiness

Do You Ever Find Yourself Chewing Your Mental Cud?

October 5, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

ruminating woman

That’s my definition of rumination—chewing your mental cud. A more elegant definition, provided by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema of Yale University, is “a tendency to passively think about the meaning, origins, and consequences of our negative emotions.” Rumination isn’t the same as worrying. Worrying is usually focused on the future (an anticipated threat), while rumination tends to be focused on past or present events (some type of loss).

We ruminate over external situations and events and about relationships. We also ruminate over our own mistakes and shortcomings. That’s called self-rumination.

Rumination feels like problem-solving, but it actually prevents us from solving problems because it keeps us focused on negative events and emotions. We continue to dwell on our problems instead of attempting to resolve them. Rumination disrupts our self-regulation. Because we want to feel better, we try to distract ourselves or turn to immediate gratification. Rumination also increases stress levels and has a negative effect on our general health.

Rumination is a low level of thinking in which one thought leads to another but never to a solution or a conclusion. Rumination occupies mental space and System 2 (conscious) attention, which is already in short supply. So what can you do to stop yourself from ruminating?

Antidote #1: Practicing Mindfulness

Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. –Jon Kabat Zin

Mindfulness correlates negatively with rumination. That means practicing mindfulness is effective at decreasing the tendency to ruminate. Mindfulness helps people:

  • Observe themselves, events, and other people with curiosity and compassion
  • Shift their perspective
  • Become less attached to their thoughts, emotions, and sensations
  • See the patterns of their own mind more clearly
  • Recognize changes in their mood
  • Recognize the onset of ruminative thinking
  • Switch to a non-ruminative mode

Mindfulness can help you maintain a focused yet relaxed attention on the present moment. Observing your thoughts without judgment allows them to come and go. You don’t have to get carried away with them. The more you’re able to avoid getting attached to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations, the less likely you will be to develop a rumination habit. When you’re being mindful, it’s especially hard to slip into ruminating over past events.

Mindfulness correlates positively with self-reflection and self-awareness. While mindfulness is likely to decrease your susceptibility to rumination, it won’t affect or interfere with your ability to be self-reflective. In fact, it will enhance it.

You’ll be less likely to get drawn into ruminating if you remain open and curious about what’s going on around you and within you—and curious about your own actions and reactions.

Charles Tart (Waking Up) says:

The practice of self-observation…is the practice of being curious, along with a commitment to do your best to observe and learn whatever is there, regardless of your preferences or fears.

If you diligently practice self-observation, you will see much that is painful and much that is joyful, but seeing more of reality will turn out to be highly preferable to living a fantasy. You will begin creating “something” in yourself, a quality, a function, a skill, akin to learning how the controls of your automated airliner work. And you will be pleasantly surprised at how much more there is to life.

Antidote #2: Work on Solving the Problem

Problem-solving requires conscious attention. You can’t ruminate and problem-solve at the same time. If you focus your attention on addressing and dealing with the issue, you’re less likely to continue ruminating over it. Grab some paper and a pen and try this eight-step process.

  1. Identify and clearly define the problem.
  2. Ask yourself why you want to solve this problem.
  3. Imagine it solved.
  4. Gather information and/or brainstorm ideas.
  5. Consider alternatives.
  6. Decide on a plan and develop it.
  7. Implement the plan.
  8. Adjust as necessary.
Antidote #3: Write Your Way Out of Your Story

Negative feelings are the fuel for rumination. They can be so compelling they keep us caught up in the story we’ve spun long past the point we know we should let it go. This writing exercise can help you separate the facts from your feelings so you can disengage from the story.

You will need a pen or pencil and paper, a highlighter pen, and a timer.

  • Set your timer for at least 10 minutes.
  • Begin writing, describing what happened or what’s bothering you in in as much detail as possible. Keep your pen moving across the page. Don’t stop to think about what you’re writing. Just continue putting words on paper without editing or censoring. (Let it all hang out.)
  • When your timer goes off, stop writing. Reread what you wrote with the intention of identifying facts (as opposed to feelings, opinions, conjecture, etc.). Either highlight each fact, or list the facts on a separate page.
  • Reread only the facts. Take a few minutes to summarize in writing what you discovered or how you now think or feel. If there’s something you want or need to do about the situation, write a declarative sentence to that effect.
Antidote #4: Come Up with an Anti-Rumination Image

Rumination keeps you stuck traveling the same ground over and over again, your attention focused inward. It stops forward progress. There are many different metaphors or images you can probably think of for rumination (things that keep you stuck or block your progress or things that take up space, for example), such as:

  • A roadblock
  • Junk thinking
  • Mental clutter
  • Brain fog
  • A brick wall
  • A no exit sign
  • MindLESSness
  • Being under the influence

Find an image that works for you. The next time you find yourself ruminating, turn your attention to the image to remind yourself of how unproductive and destructive rumination is.

And if that doesn’t work, just STOP IT! (Thank you, Ana.)

Filed Under: Attention, Habit, Happiness, Living, Mindfulness, Stories Tagged With: Mindfulness, Problem solving, Rumination, Stress

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