Beliefs Archives - Page 20 of 24

and One Pill Makes You Small…

February 17, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 6 Comments

Alice through the Looking Glass (Photo credit: sammydavisdog)

…so don’t swallow that pill!

If you’re playing small, making yourself small, or trying to convince yourself and everyone else that you’re too small to make a difference or to be worth bothering with, just stop it.

Undoubtedly you have reasons for playing small, but the reasons don’t matter.

A hundred people may come up with a hundred different reasons, but they’re all in futile pursuit of the same basic stuff:

Safety
Security
Contentment
Satisfaction
Certainty

Pursuit of these things is futile because they are either impossible to get or impossible to get and keep—ironically, especially by playing small.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. –Clint Eastwood

People who are playing small are usually also pursuing happiness, but they would prefer not to be disturbed. Maybe this is the source of the idea of being happy as a clam—or happy as a clam at high tide, which is the complete idiom, high tide being the time when clams are least likely to be disturbed by clam diggers. Unfortunately being alive and being disturbed kind of go hand-in-hand unless you’re living in some kind of protective bubble.

If you’re aiming for safety, security, contentment, satisfaction, and certainty, what are you willing to give up in exchange? Are you willing to give up your freedom? Your vitality, energy, and power? The possibilities for joy, adventure, creativity, spontaneity, and aliveness? Are you willing to give up your life? How afraid are you of failing, making a mistaken, losing, getting hurt, having to expend too much effort, being outside your comfort zone? Have you set most of your expectations of yourself so low that even when you meet them it merits nothing more than a yawn?

You’re bigger than that. Maybe its time to try taking the other pill, metaphorically speaking.

Unclear or Uncertain?

February 13, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 3 Comments

There’s an enormous difference between being unclear—not knowing which step to take—and being uncertain—not knowing what the outcome of taking that step will be. It’s important to recognize whether it’s a lack of clarity or the fear of uncertainty that might be getting in your way.

When your mind is confused at the outset, it’s probably not a good time to act. If you are weighing one action against another and making lists of pros and cons, you’re unclear. As counterintuitive as it may sound, thinking about the situation more or harder won’t make it any clearer. When you’re clear, the path to take is obvious. Only the details remain to be worked out.

But if you’re waiting until you’re certain of the outcome of your action, you will likely never act because the outcome is never certain. We can’t yet predict the future. And why would we want to? As Ursula Le Guin said, “The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.”

The unconscious part of our brain is biased against uncertainty, and so we are biased against it, too. But trying to avoid uncertainty is tremendously limiting, not to mention a fool’s game.

Certainty itself is an emotional state, not an intellectual one. To create a feeling of certainty, the brain must filter out far more information than it processes, which, of course, greatly increases its already high error rate during emotional arousal. In other words, the more certain you feel, the more likely you are wrong.

Mental focus, the foundation of feelings of certainty, distorts reality by magnifying and amplifying one or two aspects of it while filtering out everything else. You might discover more detail about the one or two aspects you focus on, but what you discover will have no contextual meaning, because you have isolated those aspects from their dynamic interaction with the rest of the reality in which they exist. In other words, focus magnifies things out of proportion and blows them out of context. —Stephen Stosny, Ph.D.

What is certain is settled, known, and impervious to change. Uncertainty may be frightening, but…

Uncertainty is where things happen. It is where the opportunities—for success, for happiness, for really living—are waiting. —Martha Nussbaum

How UNreasonable Can You Be?

February 10, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 5 Comments

People of Accomplishment — (Photo credit: Celestine Chua)

There is general, though not absolute, agreement that being reasonable is good and being unreasonable is bad. Depending on how you define the terms, however, you can find more than one way to parse the differences between them.

I tried being reasonable; I didn’t like it. –Clint Eastwood

Some of the most awake and alive experiences of my life have occurred while I was trying to do things that were so outrageously unreasonable they seemed impossible to accomplish. Apparently, I like challenges. But that may just be part of my temperament. I was never particularly reasonable, even as a child—some might say especially as a child.

Some synonyms for reasonable are: sensible, logical, rational, moderate, mild, well-balanced, agreeable, and fair.

Some synonyms for unreasonable are: excessive, immoderate, illogical, irrational, extravagant, extreme, wild, and unrestrained.

A reasonable person is considered to be prudent and cautious, someone who avoids extremes. But reasonable can also mean mediocre, ordinary, average, and tolerable. And unreasonable can mean bold, daring, audacious, exceptional, and unexpected. An unreasonable person may keep going even after reaching reasonable limits. An unreasonable person may have unreasonable expectations—of herself and of others.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. [Or woman!] –George Bernard Shaw

Reasonable people tend to take fewer risks than unreasonable people take. Reasonable is often the safer course—but not always. Nor is it always the best course.

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men. –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Creativity and reasonableness often don’t mesh, since being reasonable requires a degree of cognitive inhibition, while some stages of creativity require cognitive disinhibition.

Certainly you aren’t likely to be faulted for being reasonable and for refusing to accept unreasonable demands, requests, or challenges.

But remember that when you aim for reasonable, then reasonable is probably the best you can hope to achieve.

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? –Mary Oliver

Is Your Head Ready to Explode?

February 6, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 2 Comments

Scene of the explosion of a ConSec scanner's head — (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You might have a head on the verge of exploding if you’re trying to operate under these two incompatible assumptions.

You have free will, and you choose whatever you do or don’t do.

You can’t do or not do a single thing without having a reason.

Our brains have been shown to be highly proficient reason-generating machines. It’s part of their hardwiring for survival. And we seem more than happy to go along for the ride without questioning the process or the result.

Here’s how it goes:

We turn something into a reason.

We act as if the reason has an independent existence.

We impute a direct cause-and-effect relationship between the reason we have created and whatever we do or don’t do.

Maybe we think we freely chose whatever we turned into a reason for a particular action or non-action. But if we have to have a reason in order to act or not act, the reason doesn’t really matter. We still can’t simply act. We still have no power. And ultimately, we still aren’t responsible.

There’s no point in arguing for free will all the while operating as if we live in a deterministic universe in which everything that happens is the result of something that happened before. The mental gymnastics required to maintain these opposing beliefs keep us stuck in the status quo, chasing our mental tails, and sometimes going to extreme measures to defend our lack of power and responsibility.

Which explains quite a lot.

Do You Believe in Reasons?

February 3, 2014 by Joycelyn Campbell 9 Comments

Scientific Explanation — (Photo credit: Wonderlane)

Consider these two groups of people.

One group (Group A) believes that reasons are real and that reasons cause things to happen or not happen.

The other group (Group B) believes that invisible intentional agents are real and that invisible intentional agents cause things to happen or not happen.

What’s the difference between these two groups?

Both Group A and Group B are very confident in their beliefs. But the degree of confidence we have about what we think or believe has no correlation with the accuracy or reality of the thought or belief.

Neither Group A nor Group B can produce a tangible example of a reason or of an invisible intentional agent because both are figments of the imagination.

Whether reasons or invisible intentional agents are causing things to happen or not happen, the people in either group are not responsible.

As a result, the people in both groups have very little power to make things happen or to prevent things from happening.

Meanwhile, the people in Group B are busy (wasting time, effort, and energy) trying to fight off or appease invisible intentional agents, and the people in Group A are busy (wasting time, effort, and energy) first turning the events, situations, encounters, circumstances, and conditions of their lives into reasons—and then trying to address the problems they perceive to be the result of the reasons they have created!

Each group also feels superior to the other group. If you believe in reasons you’re much more likely to be seen as sane—even reasonable—by others. But it makes absolutely no difference whether you believe in reasons or you believe in invisible intentional agents. The bottom line is that something else—not you—is running your life.

…so don’t swallow that pill!

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