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L Is for Luck

January 18, 2017 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

Plans, practice, and preparation are all useful, even essential, if you want to accomplish anything significant in life. But no matter how rock-solid they are, your plans, practice, and preparation cannot immunize you against random occurrences, aka luck. Your luck in a given circumstance may be good or bad, but by its nature it isn’t predictable.

A good definition of luck is:

The chance happening of fortunate or adverse events.

It’s important to recognize that, statistically speaking, random events occur far more often and have a far greater impact on us than we recognize. Events outside our control will occur. When everything goes according to plan or falls into place, we can thank our lucky stars. But we can’t count on being lucky. And we can’t take credit for luck.

The fact that luck is something we can’t control automatically casts it in a bad light. Both the nature of it and the outcome are uncertain and uncertainty gives the unconscious part of our brain the heebie jeebies. We prefer to operate under the illusion of control, maintaining our belief that we can influence outcomes even in the face of significant irrefutable evidence to the contrary.

Thus there are people who believe they create their own luck. “Chance favors the prepared mind,” said Louis Pasteur. And in some circumstances that’s true. You can’t necessarily take advantage of advantageous circumstances if you don’t know how to respond or are not prepared to do so. You can, to an extent, be ready to open your arms to random good fortune—which would certainly be more welcome than bad fortune.

Estimating Impact

However, good fortune does not always lead to good outcomes. Take lottery winners, a group that has been the subject of numerous studies. Not everyone who wins the lottery ends up worse off than they were before—but a surprising number of winners do. And most report being no happier after winning than people who didn’t win.

Our beliefs about outcomes are strongly affected by one of the cognitive biases we’re afflicted with. This one is known as the impact bias, and it has two parts. We think we know whether a future potential event will affect us in a positive or in a negative way. And we’re usually pretty good at getting that prediction right. We also think we know how large or small that impact will be and how long it will last. That’s where we often miss the mark by anticipating that both good and bad events will affect us more—and for longer—than they actually will.

Something that is pretty predictable is that you’re more likely to overreact to bad luck when you aren’t fully committed to your current plan of action. If you’re more or less going through the motions, it won’t take much to blow you off course or permanently derail you. You might think what you’re up to is just not meant to be or that you don’t have what it takes.

That’s why it’s critical to get very, very clear about your desired outcome ahead of time. If you have a strong commitment to what you’re going after, you’re more likely to consider bad luck a bump in the road. Maybe it’s a small bump or maybe it’s an enormous boulder. Nevertheless, you’ll be more inclined to figure out how to navigate around it and continue on your way if you really want what’s on the other side and if you know the next steps you need to take.

Enter the Black Swan

Sometimes luck, good or bad, has a relatively minor effect. On the other hand, luck—in the form of what Nassim Taleb calls Black Swans—can be life-changing. Taleb describes a so-called Black Swan this way:

First, it is an outlier, as it lies outside the realm of regular expectations, because nothing in the past can convincingly point to its possibility. Second, it carries an extreme impact. Third, in spite of its outlier status, human nature makes us concoct explanations for its occurrence after the fact, making it explainable and predictable.

The majority of swans are white, so black swans are unexpected. As Taleb says, on September 10, 2011, the events of September 11 were not reasonably conceivable. If they had been, something could have been done to prevent them.

A Black Swan event can permanently alter your course or at the very least make it vastly more difficult to pursue. But you can’t anticipate such events or know whether they will be positive or negative. What you can be certain about is what is meaningful to you. If the course you’re on is massively disrupted, you will still have the knowledge of what’s important to you, even if you have to find a completely different way to create it in your life.

If there’s something you want to do and the main thing holding you back is uncertainty, try imagining a world where all is preordained, everything is known in advance, and there is no possibility of surprise. Is that really a world you’d want to live in?

You can’t predict the future no matter how much your brain wants you to believe you can. Although you can—and should—plan ahead, it’s important to remember that the path from here to there is rarely a straight line. Randomness and luck often play a larger role in both process and outcome than we’d like to acknowledge.

In the long run, how you respond (persevere) in the face of setbacks and random events is more important than achieving instant or quick success. And you can take all the credit for persevering.


Part of the series A-Z: An Alphabet of Change.

Filed Under: Alphabet of Change, Beliefs, Cognitive Biases, Finding What You Want, Uncertainty Tagged With: Black Swans, Change, Luck, Randomness, Uncertainty

K Is for Know-How

January 11, 2017 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

Knowledge and know-how have a lot in common, but they’re not the same thing. You can read a book, watch a DVD, or listen to a lecture and gain knowledge—maybe even a lot—but that knowledge is theoretical until you actually apply it. Memorizing a camera’s instruction manual, for example, won’t give you the know-how to use your camera effectively, easily, or creatively in a wide range of situations. To be able to do that, you need hands-on experience and practice—the more practice, the better.

You probably know how to do a lot of things you didn’t always know how to do.

  • Drive a car
  • Operate a computer
  • Search the internet
  • Use a smartphone
  • Purchase airline reservations and board a plane
  • Order food in a restaurant
  • Speak in front of a group
  • Assemble furniture using an Allen wrench
  • Knit a scarf

Learning how to do all those things—at least to do them well, with confidence, or in some cases, safely—involves actually doing them, not just knowing what to do or how to do it. Drivers’ education, when I took it, included both classroom learning and operating a vehicle with an instructor in the passenger seat. A few of my classmates who demonstrated great proficiency in the classroom didn’t do so well on the road. I still remember one of a series of near-misses with Susan N. behind the wheel. Our instructor frantically gestured for her to pull the car over and park it, after which he got out and strode up and down the sidewalk for several minutes, repeatedly rubbing his hands over his face.

And if you think you can sit right down and knit a scarf using, say, the garter stitch (a relatively easy knitting project), after having watched someone else do it or reading the pattern instructions, you’re in for a surprise when you try manipulating the yarn and needles for the first time.

Getting to Carnegie Hall

We expect that in learning how to do something that involves a procedure, a sequence, or the use of tools or equipment we will need to practice doing it in order to master the activity. In fact, we expect to spend the majority of our learning time not on theory, but on practice.

But we don’t approach changing our behavior the same way. We seem to think that having knowledge or information is enough—or more accurately, should be enough. When it turns out not to be, we don’t rethink our approach or beliefs. We decide there’s something wrong, either with the knowledge and information or with us.

I think one of the reasons for this is that we don’t recognize that the same mechanism of action is involved in almost all behavior change. So putting the practice time in will eventually pay off not just in one area, but in many areas. It’s similar to learning how to play the piano. Mastering playing the piano doesn’t just give you the ability to play one song or one type of music. Yes, playing improvisational jazz is different from playing classical sonatas, but the underlying mechanism of action is the same. The piano skills you develop are transferable.

Theory and Practice

Mastering the art and science of change involves both theory and practice, too. In the realm of theory, you need to understand some things about the brain, including:

  • The difference between System 1 (the unconscious) and System 2 (consciousness)
  • Why your brain keeps “correcting” you back to your old way of doing things
  • How your brain creates habits, with or without your participation

You also need to know how to make use of the way your brain is wired or how to work around it when you need to. That involves developing various tools, including:

  • Setting goals and following through on them
  • Keeping your attention focused on your intentions
  • Making use of rewards to activate memory and learning circuits

That’s a lot of information to absorb. It’s a lot of knowledge to process. But it’s not enough.

Even if you know everything there is to know about how the brain works in regard to behavior, and even if you understand the reasons for and the absolute best ways to use goals, habits, intentions, and rewards, if you don’t engage in regular and deliberate practice, you won’t be able to master the art and science of change.

When clients begin my Goals, Habits & Intentions course, I always tell them the most valuable thing they’ll get from the course is coming face-to-face with how they get in their own way. If you really want to master behavior change, you need to develop the kind of self-awareness you can only get when you’re in the midst of trying to change something. For example:

  • How do you respond to feedback?
  • What do you do when faced with obstacles, delays, and distractions?
  • What beliefs and assumptions do you have about yourself and the way the world works that you don’t know you have?

Regular and deliberate practice is the only way to fully grasp the tools and make them your own. Regular and deliberate practice combined with knowledge and information helps you develop the know-how to master making the changes you want to make in your life and to help others do the same.

Change is not easy. It takes a lot longer than you think it will or than you want it to. It can be messy and discouraging, too. In his book Mastery, George Leonard says:

To take the master’s journey, you have to practice diligently, striving to hone your skills, to attain new levels of competence. But while doing so—and this is the inexorable fact of the journey—you also have to be willing to spend most of your time on a plateau, to keep practicing even when you seem to be getting nowhere.

That’s the challenge. But once you really get the hang of it—once you develop the know-how—you’ll have it for the rest of your life.


Part of the series A-Z: An Alphabet of Change.

Filed Under: Alphabet of Change, Brain, Habit, Learning, Wired that Way Tagged With: Brain, Change, Know-How, Knowledge, Mastery, Practice

J Is for Juicy

January 4, 2017 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

 

orange-juicy

You probably know that juicy means full of juice or succulent. But it’s the second meaning of the word, richly interesting, that I want to focus on. Synonyms for interesting include: engrossing, fascinating, riveting, gripping, compelling, captivating, engaging, and enthralling. Synonyms for richly include: vividly, deeply, intensely, vibrantly, elaborately, lavishly, elegantly, splendidly, and exquisitely. You can put together your own combination of words to define juicy for yourself.

I’m hungry for a juicy life. I lean out my window at night and I can taste it out there, just waiting for me. ―Brigid Lowry, Guitar Highway Rose

What are the things that make your life richly interesting or deeply engrossing or intensely engaging? Maybe you can recite a list off the top of your head. But maybe you haven’t really given much thought to it. There are so many things you’re required to do, so many things you should do, and so many things you just do automatically that asking yourself how juicy any of them are might seem sort of silly or indulgent.

Here’s the thing, though: if you want to change any aspect of your status quo, you’ll have to contend with the unconscious part of your brain which wants no part of change. Change is potentially dangerous and definitely disruptive. So the unconscious part of your brain (System 1) prefers to play it safe by keeping everything just as it is right now. Because System 1 is much faster than the conscious part of your brain (System 2), it wins most contests that involve change.

So when you set out to change an existing habit or start a new one, or to pursue a goal, the habit or goal—or at least your desired outcome—needs to be more compelling to you than System 1’s agenda of maintaining the status quo is to it. Juiciness is highly motivating. If what you want is juicy enough, you’ll continue pursuing it in spite of both the obstacles you may encounter and the resistance your brain will put up.

Passion is one great force that unleashes creativity, because if you’re passionate about something, then you’re more willing to take risks. —Yo-Yo Ma

Get to Why

You may have a strong desire to do something without being clear about why you want to do it or what outcome you’re hoping for. This isn’t an uncommon situation. It seemed like a good idea at the time. If that’s the case, however, before you start trying to make the change, ask yourself why you want to do it. It’s worth expending some effort evaluating what you’re really up to: creating a juicier life or heading down a dead-end road.

alphabet-changeThe trick is to ask why forward rather than backward. Usually we ask why in an effort to come up with an explanation about something that already happened or to discover the past source of a current problem. Since we’ll never have access to all the information we need to get an accurate answer, asking why backward generally amounts to a lot of wheel spinning.

But asking why forward is actually useful and can even be revelatory.

  • Is there something you want to do or someplace you want to go? Why?
  • Is there a decision you’re trying to make? Why are you considering it?
  • Is there a goal you’re working toward? Why?
  • Is there a habit you’re trying to start? Why?
  • Is there a change you’re thinking about making? Why?
  • Is there something you want to get or have? Why?

Don’t stop with asking why once. If you keep asking the question, you’ll eventually get to the bedrock answer, at least for now. You’ll get closer to the heart of what’s at stake. You’ll be in a better position to decide what to do. If your why is juicy enough, you’ll be more motivated to go after it. If you can’t find the juiciness, you’re better off letting it go rather than setting yourself up for a slog you probably won’t make it through.

Juicy and Passionate

If your why is juicy enough, you’ll be passionate about doing whatever it takes to get there: the doing, the learning, the creating, and the problem-solving. Working toward your goal won’t feel like work no matter how effortful it might be. Passion keeps you engaged and helps you through the rough or confusing spots, so you’re more likely to keep going instead of getting bored or giving up. Obsession isn’t always a bad thing.

So why aren’t we all engaged in living, or aiming to live, the juiciest life possible? Why aren’t we going all in with passion and intensity? Since passion and juiciness are so important, essential even, when it comes to changing our behavior, why haven’t we fully embraced them? I suspect what gets in the way is us, specifically the things we tell ourselves, our considerations, our expectations, the preconditions we demand of life, or fear of feeling fear. Or maybe it’s embarrassment. It’s not cool to be too excited about something.

I like to just think of myself as a normal person who just has a passion, has a goal and a dream and goes out and does it. And that’s really how I’ve always lived my life. —Michael Phelps

We’re afraid of stepping up, taking a risk, facing uncertainty, getting hurt or burned, failing, caring too much, or exceeding our reach. The unconscious part of our brain is wired for survival, not for juiciness and passion.

What gets in the way of living passionately isn’t our circumstances; it’s our own self-talk that keeps passion at arm’s length. If we want to live a juicy life, we can start doing it any time. There’s nothing to search for or to find, either within or without. There’s nothing stopping us from going after what’s succulent, what richly interests us, but ourselves.


Part of the series A-Z: An Alphabet of Change.

Filed Under: Alphabet of Change, Brain, Clarity, Creating, Unconscious Tagged With: Brain, Juicy Life, Mind, Passion, Passionate

I Is for Intention

December 28, 2016 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

Junge Frau beim Bogenschiessen

An intention is something (an act, speech, or effect) you plan or decide to do. An intentional act isn’t accidental or unconscious. That’s pretty straightforward, but intention has become a buzz word, so some clarification is in order.

In the world of magical thinking, intention is touted as a highly potent element. Or is it? One high priest of magical thinking describes intention as a directed impulse of consciousness that contains the seed form of that which you aim to create. (A simpler way to say it would be you have a thought or an idea.) You must then release your intentions into the fertile depths of your consciousness (aka the ground of pure potentiality) so they can grow and flourish. How or why you would need to release an impulse of consciousness into consciousness is unclear. But it’s the escape clause that really gets me. After releasing your intention, you are advised to relinquish your rigid attachment to a specific result because the outcome that you try so hard to force may not be as good for you as the one that comes naturally.

Hold on! The one that comes naturally sounds suspiciously like the very status quo your intention would serve to change. So what was the point of that directed impulse of consciousness? And who or what directed—or, more accurately, misdirected—it?

In a nutshell, you have a thought, you release it, and then things do or do not proceed as you intended. It appears that a directed impulse of consciousness is neither relevant nor powerful after all.

Intention Really IS Powerful

If you want to do something deliberately, as opposed to habitually, you defiinitely do need to start with an intention. Without one, you’re likely to succumb to the siren song of the path of least resistance: that thing that comes naturally. This is just the way we’re all wired.

An intention is more than wishful thinking, a good idea, or a thought released into fertile ground. Creating and acting on an intention requires your conscious thought and attention. If you want to break away from the path of least resistance—no easy task, given your brain’s desire to maintain the status quo—you need to be both committed to following through on your intention and willing to do whatever that takes, including feeling uncomfortable.

You also need to get very, very specific. Many ideas begin as vague or general aims, but if you want to give yourself a fighting chance at changing the status quo, you need to spell out the what, when, where, and how of what you intend to do. this may take some practice.

Creating an Intention

Although creating an intention is not complicated or difficult, there are a few pitfalls to watch out for.

“Shoulds”

You probably have some concepts about the way things should be, as well as how you should be and what you should be able to do. When you’re creating an intention, banish the word should—and even the concept. It isn’t helpful, and it sets you up to have unrealistic expectations. Why start out by pitting your actual self against an idealized self who can easily do whatever it is you’re currently struggling with?

If you have created an intention to do something because you think you should do it or you should be able to do it, let it go. You’re less likely to fully commit yourself to something you should do, and you’re probably not willing to do whatever it might take to accomplish it since you think you should already be doing it. If you prejudge yourself as somehow lacking, you’ve lost before you’ve even begun.

Giant Steps

Maybe there’s an entire area of your life you want to revamp, so you create an intention to do just that. No baby steps for you; you’re going for the gold! But trying to tackle too much all at once is another recipe for failure because the chance of succeeding is minuscule at best.

When you try to do many things at the same time, you give yourself many opportunities to fail. So if, for example, you want to develop a habit that involves doing something multiple times during the day, start out by creating an intention to do it once or twice a day—or even every other day. Once you’ve succeeded with that, you can expand on it.

Aiming to do too much and missing the mark only reinforces any existing feelings of ineffectiveness or inadequacy. When you take baby steps, you have a much better chance of accomplishing what you set out to do. You can then build on your success.

Wiggle Room

As indicated above, a common mistake to make when creating an intention is to be vague rather than specific. Maybe you aren’t consciously trying to give yourself wiggle room, but that’s what vagueness does to intentions: it paves the way for you to wiggle right out of them. Maybe you believe just creating the intention is sufficient. Or your schedule is too variable for you to be specific. Or you want to maintain your flexibility.

It’s important to be specific when creating an intention because vagueness simply doesn’t work, so creating a vague intention is a waste of time. If you want to do something twice a week, decide on the days of the week and the time of day you will do it. If your schedule varies, make appointments with yourself and write them on your calendar or in your planner. Treat your appointments with yourself the same way you would treat an appointment with someone else. Give yourself a little respect. If you know the result (desired outcome) you want, think through the steps you’ll need to take to achieve it. Make the steps your intention and the result is more likely to follow.

For more on intentions and the IAP (Intention/Attention/Perseverance) process, see Make It So!


Part of the series A-Z: An Alphabet of Change.

Filed Under: Alphabet of Change, Choice, Clarity, Making Different Choices Tagged With: Change, Intention, Intentions

H Is for Habits

December 21, 2016 by Joycelyn Campbell Leave a Comment

donut-and-coffee

Habits are recurring, generally unconscious patterns of behavior you acquire through frequent repetition or that are learned over time. Since they operate outside conscious awareness (and control), you may suddenly discover, as I have, some habits you didn’t know you had.

Your brain creates habits, with or without your conscious participation, in order to operate more efficiently. It chunks repetitive behaviors and turns the chunks over to the basal ganglia so you don’t have to waste your precious and limited System 2 attention on them. So the habit habit is actually a labor-saving device for your brain, which means your brain is primed for habits.

Since we tend to identify with our conscious brain rather than our unconscious, we’re under the illusion that most of what we do is the result of conscious choice (behaviors are preceded by conscious intentions). So you may not be aware of how pervasive habits are in your life.

When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making. It stops working so hard, or diverts focus to other tasks. —Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit

Habits vs. Goals

Habits differ from goals in two significant ways:

  1. Goals are temporary; whether it’s three weeks or three years, there’s always an end point. Habits, on the other hand, are ongoing.
  2. Goals require conscious attention from beginning to completion. Habits, once in place, use System 1 attention. That’s why you may be unaware of some of your habits.

Creating a habit you want (or changing an existing habit) does require conscious attention initially, but only until System 1 takes it over, at which point it is initiated automatically as a result of something in the environment—a cue or a trigger.

Continual repetition of behaviors and thoughts results in highly reinforced neural connections, which are experienced as habits. …By adulthood, most emotional responses and behavioral impulses are conditioned: we think, feel, and behave more or less the same in the same states and social contexts over and over. Habits and the conditioned responses that compose them are processed in the brain in milliseconds, thousands of times faster than conscious decisions. —Steven Stosny, Ph.D.

According to Charles Duhigg, there are three parts to what he refers to as the habit loop: the cue, the routine, and the reward. The cue is what triggers the routine—the beginning of the habit loop—and the reward lets your brain know the loop is complete.

Habits: Good or Bad?

The word “habit” often conjures up the word “bad.” If you think of habits as bad—or as just something inconsequential that you do—you’ll have a harder time creating the habits you want to have.

Whether your habits are “good” or “bad,” they’re all the same to your brain. It doesn’t care what you think of your habits. All it cares about it is being efficient. Do anything often enough and it will become a habit. And habits, by their nature, are hard to change. Trying to exert willpower, using positive thinking, engaging in deep soul searching, or looking for the underlying cause of a habit are all fruitless endeavors. Unfortunately, you can’t have a heart-to-heart with your basal ganglia.

The main reason that conscious control of habits is limited is that it requires the most easily exhaustible and metabolically expensive of mental resources: focused attention. …When resources are limited, people are unable to deliberately choose or inhibit responses, and they become locked into repeating habits. …The autopilot, being virtually inexhaustible, wins the struggle more often. —Steven Stosny

The Value of Habits

It’s easy to see the positive, productive role of habits in the development of a skill or craft—that of a musician, an artist, a writer, a quilter, or a cook, for example. We generally expect that the more a musician practices her instrument, the more dishes a cook prepares, the better they will become at doing those things. A musician is unlikely to attain excellence if she only practices when she’s in the mood for it. Skillful musicians develop the habit of practicing regularly whether they’re in the mood for it or not. And they don’t have to be in the mood for it precisely because they’ve developed the habit. They don’t have to waste conscious attention or drain self-control resources by thinking about or deciding each time whether or not to practice.

Because habits don’t drain self-control resources to the same extent as non-habits, once a behavior becomes a habit, it frees up your conscious attention and makes achieving goals considerably easier. Habits and routines are actually essential to people who need to be creative on a regular basis.

Changing the status quo isn’t easy. The unconscious part of your brain, which might be said to be allergic to change, is way ahead of the conscious part, especially in familiar situations. It’s built to predict what’s likely to happen next, construct multiple response scenarios, and initiate the response it considers the most effective—not the response you consider most effective.

That’s why habits seem to have so much power. They are very familiar to your unconscious, which bases its predictions and responses on previous experience. You may want to go for a walk after dinner, but if you’ve been plopping down on the sofa every evening, your brain is going to “choose” the sofa over the walk. You may want to cut back on the donuts, but if you’re in the habit of grabbing one with your coffee at the office, that’s what your brain is programmed to “choose” to do.

You can make use of the power of habit by learning how to change the ones you don’t want and by creating habits you do want. In order to change an existing habit, you need to identify the cue and the reward and substitute a different behavior (routine) that gives you the same reward. To start a new habit, first decide what the behavior will be, and then choose a reward and a cue. It’s easier to start a new habit if you make the cue something you already do on a regular basis. Charles Duhigg explains the process in his Guide to Changing Habits.

One major caveat: There is no magic number of days that it takes to change or create a habit. But there is a highly effective type of magic you can apply; it’s called perseverance.


Part of the series A-Z: An Alphabet of Change.

Filed Under: Alphabet of Change, Brain, Choice, Habit, Making Different Choices, Unconscious Tagged With: Behavior, Change, Charles Duhigg, Choice, Habit Loop, Habits, The Power of Habit

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