The Enneagram is a fascinating and powerful tool for understanding ourselves and others better—but only when it’s used wisely.
Any system or method of classifying people has the potential to be used in harmful ways. But classifying things and people is one of the ways in which we organize and make sense of the world. Our brains do most of this classifying on their own without our conscious intervention. It isn’t possible or even desirable to dispense with our classifying behavior.
In terms of the physical/material world, it’s good to know which classifications of mushrooms are safe to eat and which are not, which insects have a deadly sting and which are harmless, which sounds and smells signal danger and which are innocuous.
In terms of people, things can get a bit dicey. We have all kinds of classifications for people based on nationality, religion, race, gender, age, level of education, make and model of car, number of children, physical appearance, language, whether or not they just cut you off in traffic, where they live, and even whether or not you know them. We also, of course, classify people by their personalities or temperaments.
Types and Stereotypes
We can get into trouble with temperament or personality typing when we forget about individual exceptions. Just because something is true in general for an entire group of people doesn’t mean it is true for every single individual within that group.
We can also get into trouble by using types or stereotypes against people. Although the most egregious examples are racism, sexism, religious persecution, and the like, we can also use personality stereotypes against other people.
But “stereotypes are observations…neither good nor bad, desirable nor undesirable, moral nor immoral,” according to evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa. “Stereotypes tell us what groups of people tend to be or do in general; they do not tell us how we ought to treat them.”
Each of us views the world through our own set of filters, biases, opinions, judgments, personal experiences, and type. We make snap judgments, jump to conclusions, and react emotionally. When conflicts arise or someone says or does something we don’t like, it can be tempting to blame their behavior on their personality type.
While the Enneagram can definitely help us understand ourselves and others better, type is only part of the picture. We can never fully know someone else’s story. If we judge them solely on their personality type, we’re doing ourselves, the other person, and even the Enneagram a disservice.
DJ says
I have heard my ex daughter-in-law use the enneagram against my son. She touts that she is an “8” and that all “3’s” (such as my son) have a distorted view of reality. That their perception of reality is skewed. She calls 3’s narcissistic. I have heard her repeatedly say things like, “Well, I’m an 8! So, naturally, I’m going to take charge!” or, “What do you expect, he’s a 3!”
It is very sad to me. I do not ever challenge her except to say that I don’t believe in lumping people together and that we are more than just a number.
I certainly wish I knew how to respond to her without causing her to become angry or on the defensive.