Your past self, your present self, and your future self are three different selves. Daniel Gilbert, who wrote Stumbling on Happiness, explains that we can’t predict what will make our future self happy because the future is fundamentally different from the present–and we lack the imagination to fully recognize and take into account that very basic fact.
I recommend the book and the short TED talk below.
At every stage of our lives we make decisions that will profoundly influence the lives of the people we’re going to become, and then when we become those people, we’re not always thrilled with the decisions we made.
Most of us have a tough time imagining a tomorrow that is terribly different from today, and we find it particularly difficult to imagine that we will ever think, want, or feel differently than we do now.
Imagination cannot easily transcend the boundaries of the present, and one reason for this is that it must borrow machinery that is owned by perception. The fact that these two processes must run on the same platform means that we are sometimes confused about which one is running. We assume that what we feel as we imagine the future is what we’ll feel when we get there, but in fact, what we feel as we imagine the future is often a response to what’s happening in the present.
Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you’ve ever been. The one constant in our life is change. –Daniel Gilbert
I’m currently reading (rereading) The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama. This book will be next.
Good choices. After you’ve finished “Stumbling,” I’d love to hear your thoughts about it.
Between World Cup games, so here is a brief summary of my thoughts on Stumbling on Happiness.
Stumbling on Happiness has some fascinating information on how our mind works, how we form memories, how we perceive, and how our imagination works. I was familiar with some of this information; some was new.
I was first exposed to this type of information when a psychologist told me he didn’t think eye witness accounts shouldn’t be used in trials because they are too unreliable. When he explained his reasoning, I was first introduced to this type of information on our minds, memory, and perception.
Everyone should learn these basics. For me, and I’m sure for most people, it will really change our ideas on how our mind works. I feel his most important lesson comes from the TED talk
Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you’ve ever been. The one constant in our life is change.
As far as happiness goes, I don’t find Dr. Gilbert’s ideas helpful. I believe he was saying that to increase our happiness, we need to use an understanding of how our mind actually works to make important life decisions, and make decisions that will better anticipate how we will feel several years in the future. Better decisions will make us happier in the future.
I found The Art of Happiness much more useful. Accredited to the Dalai Lama, it was written by Dr. Howard Cutler .a psychiatrist. It presents Buddhist philosophy on happiness, but includes a lot of science on the same subject. The book’s philosophy is you can train your mind to be happy, and discusses the scientific evidence that supports this idea.
However, the book discusses other factors important for happiness such as some wealth, relationships, purpose in life. I feel this book is and approach is more useful in actually becoming happier, at least for me
Today’s post post in 10 Zen habits is Pursuing Happiness When it is Already Within You. His first sentence is “One of the key learnings I’ve had since starting Zen Habits is that everything I need to be happy is already within me” I agree totally. However, this certainly doesn’t mean it is easy to be happy, but it helps direct my efforts in a direction that will make me happier more often..
Hi Don,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Stumbling on Happiness. For me the most valuable take-away is that we envision the future as being essentially like the present, and we base many of our decisions on that mistaken notion. It’s a limitation of our imagination and one we have a hard time overcoming no matter how many times we make the same mistake. This seems to have something to do with the inner narrator who is maintains our sense of consistency–when consistency may be entirely absent. Anyway, I try to remind myself that I can’t predict the future no matter how hard I try.
As for Gilbert’s prescriptions about how to use this information to be happier, I agree with you completely. I thought that was the weakest part of the book. It seems flat-out wrong (to me) and feels like it was grafted on at the end to fill a perceived need or to round out the book. Very disappointing. But I think the informational aspect of the book is excellent. I still refer to it often.
Joycelyn